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backseat coaching

When overprotective parents, grandparents or homosexual cousins of players yell demands from the stands, becnhes, or observational area which disrupt the entire game, piss off the coach and tear the conventional moral fabric of sportsmanship.
(Unatheleitc six year old kicks the ball into their own goal)

Overcompetitve masochistic alpha male (father): JESUS F***ING CHRIST JENNY. THIS ISNT F****ING RECESS!!! YOU'RE A COMPLETE FAILURE F**K!

Coach: Jesus, this is just AYSO we're not actually playing soccer!

Stever Irwin: Here we have the primitive backseat coaching father, who never acheived anything significant in life so he takes it out on his seeds.
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Butt-clenching

When something makes you so nervous or scared, it makes your butt clench
It was butt-clenching watching Derek Fisher shoot a 3-pointer with .4 seconds left.
by madhotfyre November 1, 2017
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Couching Out

To repay a small amount of money borrowed from a friend years after it was initially promised to be paid back. Payment methods include, but are not limited to: coupons, change found in the couch cushions, excuses, making the friend drive 30 miles to collect $5 and a buy one get one Steak and Shake coupon, asking you for part of a payment back for rent because of a miscalculation, etc...

Btw, David Couch, I'm still waiting on that last $100 of that loan, bitch! You couching out bastard!
David calls Ryan and promises that he has $75 to make as a payment on a $500 loan from Ryan. He asks Ryan to drive to the Junction (J2, an under-21 club). Ryan drives over eagerly expecting $75.
David: Hey...sorry I don't have all the money right now. We can go in and hang out for a bit. Also, here is $6.50 and a coupon for buy one get one free Now & Laters at Shell.
Ryan: What happened to the $75?
David: Sorry man. I had to make a payment on my girlfriend's fake titties. I had to make them TWO HANDFULS.

Ryan: I had a feeling you'd be couching out on me.
by DeezNuttsi June 10, 2011
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cotching

relaxing, chilling, sitting back, having fun
If one was really chilled out and relaxing they could say 'I'm bares cotching.'
by MR REID December 10, 2007
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chooching

To masturbate while crying, as seen in "Mulholland Drive."
After going to a funeral and then watching porn, it was time for some chooching while listening to some emo music.
by Souttron, Papa D August 1, 2009
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Brain Crunching

Intensely thinking about something obsessively and/or endlessly.
I laid awake in bed for 5 hours last night brain crunching about an idea for my Youtube channel.
by Jordan Newsom May 19, 2016
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Cream Crunching

When you smash your meat in the door to assert dominance
Jimmy: "I saw my sister cream crunching last night and called Jesus."
Timmy: "Have your parents post-birth aborted her yet?"
by CreamCruncher69 June 25, 2020
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