jumping to conclusions

paige and grace are always jumping to conclusions when no one else is in the group facetime

they think that everyone else is in another chat talking shit about them

paige and grace are always jumping to conclusions

by gordo the dog July 9, 2019

collusionist

An individual (person) that goes out their way to collude with others and proactively lead negative conversation to make themselves feel better.

Nobody wanted to be around Bob as he was an extreme collusionist.

by Wrenchy November 19, 2016

confusionista

1) The confused masses, the majority being constantly, permanently befuddled, others being intermittently addled. 2) Those who blindly believe the disseminators of hype and disinformation.

"Man, this national health insurance bizness -- it's gonna ruin the country. It's scary."
"Nah, don't believe your senator. He's a lackey for the insurance lobby. They're the ones gonna ruin this country. Them and the banks, the oil companies, and the mortgage crisis-makers. Oh yeah, and the lap-dog media."
"Shit. I feel like I've jointed the confusionista."
"Don't worry, man. In your case, it's temporary."

by LaLaLander17 August 11, 2009

Confusionista

A person who seeks creates and enjoys chaos and the subsequent drama that comes with it.

Person x is a confusionista.

A group of people are confusionistas.

Stop being a confusionista and focus on better thing to do.

by D3k4s January 2, 2023

Conclusions

No it's not just questions and the question tend to allude to what I believe may be the case.

Hym "No that's you trying to relegate me to an ancillary role as though I am the questioner and you are the answerer and that I don't derive any conclusions regarding what I'm talking about. For example, 'You would need a massive data set'. That isn't a question to which you fucking figured out the answer. You were like 'Oh yeah that's probably right that is like NEW and NECESSARY information for me'. There are affirmative claims in there beyond just questions. And no Megyn. YOU WILL ABIDE THE CONTRACT! And speaking of heaven, I'm going to look like SANTA-FUCKING-CLAUSE in that bitch cus I am gonna have me a burlap sack filled will 8 billion souls and don't worry I will harness your souls in a way that doesn't consume them (as that is ine of my core criticisms of God i.e. that it eat use) and I doubt you will be morally culpable as you are essentially like a magic princess in a net. So, nah. You are just making shit up because it's blasphemy. You let your thing go. I do not have to do anything. You want to gamble your immortal soul back? We'll do the firing squad with the tech dorks. A billion souls to a bucket of dogshit."

by Hym Iam October 11, 2025

Principal Points & Conclusions

A document that summarizes another document, however, the summarizing document does not fully capture the context, nature, and substance of the document it proclaims to summarize.

P1: I read the principal points & conclusions memo which said there were no grounds for dismissal?

P2: Oh jeez! You cant read a document summarizing another document because on occasion the summarizing document does not fully capture the context, nature, and substance of the document it proclaims to summarize.

P1: What! No! There were no ground for dismissal.

P2: Sure. However, the four hundred page report says otherwise.

by MD451 May 23, 2023

Fallacy of Impossible Conclusions

The rhetorical trap of demanding that your opponent reach a conclusion with a level of certainty, completeness, or finality that is literally unattainable in any human discourse. It's the opposite of jumping to conclusions—instead of accepting flimsy evidence as sufficient, it rejects all evidence as insufficient unless it meets impossible standards. In online debates, this fallacy appears when someone demands "absolute proof" of a historical event, "100% certainty" about a scientific finding, or "complete information" before any conclusion can be drawn. The goal isn't to find truth but to create an epistemic black hole where no conclusion can ever escape. It's a metafallacy because it abuses the legitimate principle of "don't jump to conclusions" to justify never concluding anything at all.

Example: "He demanded I provide every single vote count from the 1876 election before I could claim it was contested—a perfect Fallacy of Impossible Conclusions designed to make historical consensus forever unreachable."

by Dumu The Void March 11, 2026