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He can't even piss in a cup 

A dude that can't handle working with intelligent women.
Don't worry sweetie, he can't even piss in a cup.

I can't even

Can't begin to understand, tolerate or believe. Incredulous
Donald Trump winning the presidency? I can't even.
I can't even by SF cycle guy October 9, 2016

I can't even hold you 

"yo I can't even hold you lily said u a bitch"

I can't even

I can't even is used by the whitest if white girls. The phrase basically means something the girl can't process due to her lack of knowledge of the world outside of Instagram. Usually followed by the response "Then don't!"
Girl 1: OH MY GOD! They messed up my Starbucks order AGAIN!

Girl 2: Just re-order it then.

Girl 1: I CAN'T EVEN!!

Girl 2: Then don't.
I can't even by #bebit4life June 19, 2014

I can't even

When a certain someone gets so excited or upset about something, they resort to talking like a white chick in a Starbucks line.
Gio was so flustered using Promise today that he kept yelling at the computer screen "I can't even" and went home at 4pm.
I can't even by TripleGs June 24, 2015

I can't even hold you 

Telling the full truth/ not lying at all
"yo I can't even hold you Abby said u a bitch bro"