Typically located in a rural area,
far from civilization, this rare specimen in her mid to late 50s is often referred to by scientists as an “Erika”. The exotic Gertude is often followed by the chant “dun dun dun” and a mariachi band. The creatures putrid bowl movements
force all civilization within a 25 mile radius to evacuate to the nearest bomb shelter until the toxic gases have been omitted from the area. However, that
plot of land will be inhabitable for years to come. Due to the genetic makeup of this creature, their back can not reach further than a 45° angle. The occasional Gertrude can be enticed by the smell of sharp cheddar cheese and the noise of diet
coke streaming into a full
yeti cup of vodka.