Assume

Coining up a foolish, humorous insinuation about somebody or something that is probably not valid.

Assumers are also usually, if not always assdouches. Since these unintelligent individuals seems to be associated with a lot of douchebag and asshole actions.

They are ignorant to reality, and make assumptions in order to mentally compensate for their own assdoucheyness, by creating humor for their own enjoyment, for the purposes of getting on the nerves of others.

For further information on this kind, look up "Assdouche".

"You say you don't want anybody over today Stevey? I can only make the ASSumption that you're going to have an 8 hour masturbation marathon to Jew-Porn."

"You're taking the dog out for a walk? Ha, I doubt it! I'm just going to ASSume that you're secretly a closet-zoophilliac that is waiting to act out on his urges and now this is the perfect opportunity, I'm calling the cops!"

by Werge (Jarrid) December 9, 2008

Assume

To think someone said something and then act on that information.

"Josh! I thought you said you were done." "Then you assumed wrong, Cayce!"

by Curobos March 8, 2013

bitch did you just assume my gender

Did you just assume my gender but with a twist.

"what's up bro."
"Bitch did you just assume my gender!?"
"Just stop.."

by BakaDog February 16, 2017

assumed cinematographic innocence

The assumption made that if there is a camera person filming it, anything being done is completely innocent.

Guy 1 - Hey man, look over there! That guy is totally stabbing that person!
Guy 2 - Don't worry man. They have a camera and stuff. It is probably just for some show or movie.
Narrator - Here we see Guy 2 demonstrating assumed cinematographic innocence while a real murder is being filmed.

by HK6 March 11, 2014

assumed

Shit you think and answer it but don't know the fucking answer

I assumed this fuck was really true

by Stephinie December 6, 2017

Assume

To make an uneducated guess.

Macy: are you doing anything for Valentine’s Day with Pablo?
Georgia: no, why?
Macy: I’m sorry I assumed you two were dating.
Georgia: no we’re just friends, he has a girlfriend, Divya. When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.

by nutella137 August 6, 2020

Assume the Position

Assume the Position is what Matt tells me to do when he wants me to suck his dick and take his load -- naked and blindfolded, on my knees, facing his raging boner, with my hands behind my back, mouth open, eager to put my mouth on his 8" cock, so he can hold my head and shove his dick down my throat and fuck my mouth until he has a cumgasm and I swallow his creamy load and say "thank you sir"

Matt always says "Assume the Position" when he wants me to suck his dick!

by USAF Cadet January 13, 2021