sport utility vehicle

A terrorist fundraiser on wheels. A machine that turns large amounts of the world's bloodiest conflict commodity into a poison gas so fat-rich people can get from their televisions to their sedentary jobs without having to stand up.

When filling your sport utility vehicle and watching the numbers on the pump go up, somewhere the same thing is happening to a terrorist's bank account. Stop buying these things you vain, insecure little twats.

by author October 14, 2006

utilize

The filthiest non-dirty word ever. Seriously, just say it.

I utilized your mom all night long.

by Jesus Christ April 13, 2005

negative utilitarianism

The school of thought that states that suffering must be eradicated at all costs. The ultimate aim therefore of negative utilitarianism is to destroy all life. This aim is often termed global suicide.
Many philosophers reject negative utilitarianism as being a terrible moral system because it asks for the destruction of life, which is normally considered very painful to all involved.
However, achieving NU'ism goal will have no adverse effects because there will be no one around to observe them and decided that they are bad effects.

I believe in the values of negative utilitarianism. If you want to know why I haven't killed myself yet; ask a chain smoker why he hasn't stopped smoking even though it is ruining him and he wants to quit.

Addiction is hard to break...

by Humankind May 26, 2005

Utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence

Using big words to sound smart.

Someone may use this to express how smart they are to a colleague, friend, girlfriend, boyfriend or even your boss.

Jack: Utilizing gargantuan idioms to fabricate intelligence.
Boss: What?
Jack: Oh, I'm just using big words to sound smart.
Boss: OK.

by The Evit One October 28, 2010

Utititarian

A no-frills bra that is designed purely for functional, not decorative or fashion, reasons. Usually comes in basic, no-messing-about colors, like white, nude, and black.

Friend 1: Oooh...those are some sexy underwear! Hot date tonight?

Friend 2: No, unfortunately. It's laundry day today, so all my utititarian bras are in the wash!

by lawilamoto January 24, 2012

utility-kinkster

One whose sexual discourse is determined by external forces and/or available resource.

Do to freezing temperatures the utility-kinksters were forced to grind on each other in an exotic dance of passion and life saving heat transfer.

by Dr.Skaz September 3, 2013

utilityologist

A person who does a forensic audit of a business' last 5 years of utility bills at no cost to them.

Rick, the Utilityologist just got me thousands of dollars back from the Utility company

by PJ LeTip July 4, 2018