A huge set of keys that make someone that is truly as important as a little fat security guard look as important as they actually are. Never seen without the holder wearing some Pork Scotch Shades and a gay Dickurity Guard uniform.
Flonkule: Hi Dad, I see the Scotcher is here.
Dad: Yeah I saw him earlier witha set of Pork Scotch Keys. They make him look so important.
Dad: Yeah I saw him earlier witha set of Pork Scotch Keys. They make him look so important.
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick June 18, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Keys mug.When a guy at the mall threw his Cinnabon to his girlfriend to finish, he accidentally hit her in the crotch. Jared started laughing and yelled, "She caught it, right in her Skonch!"
by Aeryck April 12, 2008
Get the Skonch mug.Boring, sensible black trousers with flaps over the back pockets. Worn by fat security guards who go out with men in drag, these trousers send people to sleep just by looking at them.
What the hell is fatboy wearing?
Pork Scotch trousers. Boring aren't they? Its the flap that does it.
<snore>
Pork Scotch trousers. Boring aren't they? Its the flap that does it.
<snore>
by Flappy Dickwad May 18, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch trousers mug.The amazing ability of Pork Scotch's to bore you to bloody death just by saying "hello" to you. If he ever sees that you are in his boring presence you must escape it immediately because if the boring, gay twat so much as looks you in the eye, you will drop to the floor and fall into a deep sleep. He has entered many talent shows and the reason he didn't win was because he knocked out all the judges when he got on the stage and said "Hello there I'm Max" while wearing his shades that make him look important. He thinks he knocks all the ladies out because he's 'drop dead gorgeous'.
Pork Scotch: Hello Alex.
Me: Please don't use the Pork Scotch Talent on me!
Pork Scotch: What Talent? I don't recall any Tal...
Me (snoring): snaaaaaagggghhhhh, wwwwhhhoooooo.
Me: Please don't use the Pork Scotch Talent on me!
Pork Scotch: What Talent? I don't recall any Tal...
Me (snoring): snaaaaaagggghhhhh, wwwwhhhoooooo.
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick May 28, 2009
Get the Pork Scotch Talent mug.Similar to Safety Beer but for those with more serious drinking problems. It's Saturday night and you haven't made plans yet so you stop by the liquor store and buy a bottle of Glen Parker to get you through any after hours activities. Real men plan ahead and buy a 12 pack of Glen Parker which could eliminate the need to make extra trips to the liquor store for bottles of Scotch on following weekends.
"Anyone getting together for Rock Band or a toga party later tonight? I'll stop by Spec's and pick up a bottle of Glen Parker Safety Scotch just in case."
by Bugsy McDingle November 3, 2011
Get the Safety Scotch mug.When you go to war with someone and decide that you do anything to win even if that means destroying your own resources so that they can't use them. It refers to the a strategy whereby a defensive retreating military will destroy the resources (food supply, bridges, water, power sources) to assure that the advancing opposing military cannot use them.
by Chereb September 22, 2018
Get the Scorched Earth Policy mug.The Scale that shows how scotchy someone is. At the top of the scale is the Scotchy Mother, then Pork Scotch. The Meter shows that no one in the Scotchy World is as Scotchy as The Scotchy Mother. She is even more scotchy than THE Pork Scotch.
Scotchy Mother: I'm the Scotchiest person in the world. The Scotchy Meter says so. I'm even Scotchier than my son, he'll never beat me.
Pork Scotch: Yes I will, Mum. Don't forget I'm a Koala.
Pork Scotch: Yes I will, Mum. Don't forget I'm a Koala.
by Ednatoast Jeeganflipperwick July 28, 2009
Get the Scotchy Meter mug.