Parentphernalia

Useless clutter foisted on you by your well-intentioned but misguided parents when you visit them after having moved out. Includes but not limited to: health gizmos, junk mail still received in your name at your parent's, pamphlets from their latest fixation, plastic junk of all varieties, flashlights, hopelessly lame winter clothes, tchotchkes, written instructions about how to do something simple when you get home, gadgets, doodads, and baubles of all sort.

I went home for thanksgiving and I left with a hydroflosser, three bottles of 'Dr. Jack's herbal elixer', a stack of credit card offers, all my bank statements from a checking account with 5$ in it that I don't use anymore, green microfiber fleece sweat pants, three pens with my uncle's company name on them, and a list of instructions about how to contact my insurance to inform them of change of address.

All that parentphernalia is still sitting in a box in my room.

by AnalRetentive October 1, 2012

Prentice

A Jamaican word which means one who pretends to be real and carries news to girl after eavesdropping

Di bwoy a prentice from long time

by Jadumplin January 20, 2019

Mongrel Parenting

A common derivative of a delusional, self-proclaimed Tiger Parent who are more often poorly educated, low-class Asian parents suffering from low self-esteem, entitlement and narcissistic personality disorder who have no business breeding let alone raising a child, a product of their own Mongrel upbringing. Mongrel Parents believe that the best course of action to preparing a child for life would be emotional trauma, torturous physical and mental abuse by enacting corporal punishment for failing to live up to unrealistic expectations. Though Mongrel Parents may claim that such actions are necessary to secure a beneficial future for their children, such claims are indeed false, as they tend to use their child's achievements solely for bragging rights.

Jimmy: Hey, I heard that Chin is back at his therapist.
Joe: Yeah, he was raised with mongrel parenting. He's been in therapy since he could afford it.

by jackkanarchy99 November 3, 2019

Irrational Parenting

When parents support their children to spend an obscene number of hours memorizing the digits of irrational numbers like √2, π, and e, so that they can out-parrot others in a contest, and win some medals or prizes for their “irrational” feats of memory.

Based on recent newspaper reports, irrational parenting seems to be rising in Singapore, especially among immigrants from India and Burma—the perceived paranoia to make an entry into the Singapore Book of Records has never been so strong among the “human parrots.”

by Fasters November 22, 2022

odins a+ parenting

Odin being a shitty parent to both Loki and Thor

Odins a+ parenting is the reason Loki became a villan.

by I SHIP TOO MANY SHIPS April 28, 2019

Prentice

The sexiest person I know. He constantly makes you laugh and smile. One word from him, and your day is made. Any girl would be lucky to have him. He's super sweet, caring and understanding. Even though his giggles sound like a donkey orgasm, they're pretty cute. He should give up Xbox though, he's horrible at it :P

Girl 1: Ew who is that
Girl 2: Who?
Girl 1: That emo kid over there
Girl 2: >:o Hey that's Prentice
Girl 1 What kind of a name is that...
Girl 2: A cute one
Girl 1: Do you like him or something?
Girl 2: He's my baby daddy

by Guess :D January 17, 2013

Fart Parenting

Fart Parenting is a method of parenting focusing on attachment and comfort. Either the mother or father of a new born baby will fart near their infant's face, with particular care to ensure the baby smells the fart. Each human has distinct and unique 'signatures' in the molecules of their farts and it's believed that when a baby is repetitively exposed to these fart molecules, they will feel comfort and bond with their parent. Fart Parenting involves each parent farting as often as possible in the face of their new born baby for a period of up to a year. It's important to keep exposing the child to the fart molecules for a year to form that strong, rich bond. Fart Parenting is part of a new wave of parenting methods among crunchy mommies, and promoted by groups like, Mères Sans Vaccins (Mothers Without Vaccines). Fart Parenting was nominated for a Long Grass award for Parenting Trend of the Year in 2016, but it lost out to the Bird Feeding Method.

I Fart Parented my triplets; Earthmoon, Atticus, and Felix-Lexus. They all loved my Fart Parenting and remember it fondly because I continued it until their 7th birthday with their breast feeding. Fart parenting promotes a healthy immune system that negates any need for toxic vaccinations.

by grassysally October 27, 2016