parenting 

Being a parent. (Children optional.) (I mean, seriously, if it were about children the term would mention children.) (But it's "parenting," which means it's all about me, the parent, and the child, if any, is merely an accessory, like my handbag or my iPhone.) (Only more expensive.)

My mother and father all but killed themselves raising my brothers and sisters and me. I'm so glad my generation invented parenting instead.

parenting by ak4mc February 20, 2011

Parenting 

Making sure at all times your kids are successfully beaten.

"I once had magical powers, and I wished that my house was larger and considered cooking the television, later I did parenting."

Parenting by David Kline May 14, 2004

Parenting 

A word parents use to describe to their kids so they can manipulate their kids. Usually parents that use this word are control freaks.

It’s called parenting, Look it up.

Parenting by YungHumor November 28, 2018

Parenting 

legal obligation to stalk a person around no matter how crazy it gets and enjoy every bit of it with a smile on your face while maintaining both of your existance and other healthy relationships.

I have been parenting Zeke

Parenting by SvetiKonfeti December 21, 2019

Parenting 

A disease of which is most common is middle ages men and women. This may include high blood pressure, depression, anxiety, and anger management issues. Parenting might cause un-logical purchasing.

Call your doctor if you have parenting

Parenting by Clorox whyps August 3, 2021

Parenting porn 

Movies , tv and modern fiction like the film “Beautiful Boy “that depict parenting as spoiling kids rotten yet still fretting over doing the right thing for their kids . They show parents showering kids with gifts and money while still wracked with guilt when the kid does wrong .

Did you see the movie “Beautiful Boy”? The dad showers the son with everything including paying tuition room and board through everything yet he still feels guilty the kid is a druggie. It’s real parenting porn.

Parenting porn by Roccolocious December 27, 2020

NMP Parenting

Not My Problem Parenting... a style of parenting where parents utilize natural consequences for children regarding their actions. Especially useful in parenting school age children who forget their lunch, forget to wear a coat or had detention because they didn't do their homework.

A very effective parenting style that can result in children taking more ownership of their actions and develops independence and self responsibility.

Teacher to parent: "Mrs. G, your son Eli has forgotten his homework folder three weeks in a row, and now he's going to lose his recess for a week."
Parent: "Sounds good to me. NMP. I did my homework. I have a good job. I get to chit chat with my friends at work at the water cooler. Sorry Eli, next time don't forget your homework folder. Not My Problem. NMP Parenting works!"
Child: "Waaaaa... I want my Mommy to rescue me. Oh well, I hate losing my recess so you know I'm not forgetting my folder EVER again!"

NMP Parenting by Funny Moms August 11, 2014