Performative wokery

The act of claiming offence on behalf of a third party, without any discrimination for context, intent or reasoning. Used affirmatively by young or naive social warriors, who believe any loud noise they make brings attention that helps their cause. Used disparagingly by experienced social warriors with experience actually inciting change, who know that shouting at strangers mostly undermines the cause's legitimacy and attracts the wrong sort of attention.

Have you seen Jack's twitter where he picks fights with celebrities? I know he's trying to be on our side but his performative wokery is starting to put everything we stand for at risk.

by User1040goodbuddy December 22, 2019

Performance Amnesia

The ability to instantaneously forget any and/or all memory of strike-outs at bat, missed anniversaries, double-fault serves and the like--before their accumulated effect can have a detrimental impact on real-time performance.

Hey, Ass-Clown--It might feel good at the time, but it's just not cool to smash an innocent tennis racket or throw your bat into the stands...get some performance amnesia or take up stamp collecting.

by YAWA April 13, 2019

performance anxiety

Worries, usually about performing the act of sex or urination, that cause a person to have an inability to properly execute these functions.

"How was your date last night?"
"It was awful!"
"What, no sex?"
"No dude! Jane was so hot, I got performance anxiety. Then she just left."
"Damn, you're a loser, Jon!"

"Hey man! Stop watching me pee! You're giving me performance anxiety"

by I'likea September 28, 2006

performative christian

A person who presents themselves as Christian, but uses their religion as an excuse to vomit up bile and hate towards people of other races, genders, orientations, and beliefs, much unlike what Jesus would have done.

"For someone who claims to have read the Bible, Karen's desire to bring back slavery is very concerning."

"Well, that's because she's a performative Christian, putting on a show to appeal to her fellow bigots."

by Denny Boy May 30, 2020

Performance Enhancing Poop

Performance Enhancing Poop (PEP) a.k.a. Steroid Poo.

Act of pooping before an athletic event in order to be lighter, faster, and not have to deal with it during the event.

“I’m about to go running, but first, time for a Performance Enhancing Poop."

by B-Nutty April 13, 2010

Digital Performer

Pro Audio recording software for Mac. Used by douche bags and pretentious assholes who enjoy the smell of their own farts. DP users think they are better than you simply because they use DP instead of Pro Tools, Logic, etc.

What? You use Pro Tools? Digital Performer is the best software out there, I can't believe you're not using it. By the way, have I told you how good my farts smell?

What do you get when you mix vinegar and water in a bag? A Digital Performer user!

by The1andonly November 10, 2007

P.E.T.'s (Performance Enhanced Titties)

When a female surgically augments her breasts; improving size and mate-ability. Much like P.E.D.'s (Performance Enhancing Drugs), which have the ability to raise a mediocre minor league baseball player's batting average to that of Barry Bonds (P.E.D. poster child), P.E.T.'s (Performance Enhanced Titties) do the same thing for chicks. You can hear the slow clap in the background --> turning "soft 7's" into "hard 8's".

Hey did you see Jennifer yesterday?

Yeah, from 2 Advil on an ironing board to a dead heat in a zeppelin race.

I'm suspicious of P.E.T.'s (Performance Enhanced Titties).

Suspicious, but thankful.

by IfICanFeelEmThey'reRealsies June 1, 2013