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I have a goldfish

girl - "I have a boyfriend."

guy - "I have a goldfish."

girl - "what?"

Guy - "Oh I thought we were talking about stuff that didn't matter."
by sherm stick 90 March 16, 2010
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Duad Goldfish

the biggest most toxic player in league of legends. if you meet a duad goldfish be extremely careful not to trigger him, as he will flame the living shit out of you
Duad Goldfish: "WHY DIDNT YOU TANK FOR ME YOU FUCKING SHIT OMG"
Me: "LUL"
by hehe xd123 May 24, 2017
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sandal-wearing goldfish tenders

The term used by Mr Burns's grandfather to describe the Japanese in the season four episode of 'The Simpsons': 'Last Exit to Springfield'
The Japanese! Those sandal-wearing goldfish tenders!
by brwhizz May 23, 2009
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goldfish

Someone with an extremely short memory, or one who is extremely absentminded.

Derives from the evolutionary defense mechanism of the American Goldfish in order to stave off insanity due to boredom: "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"... "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"... "wow look at that pretty plastic tree"
"Damn...That Sue never learns... She just does the same dumb shit over and over again like a goldfish."
by SueLowe October 9, 2005
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goldfish

1. A popular pet often kept in bowls (which they shouldn't, that's bad for them) and often thought of as having a 3 second memory, though this is a myth, because in reality goldfish have a longer memory than you do.

2. The snack that smiles back.

3. People that have a super short memory, originating from the myth that goldfish have a 3 second memory (which they don't)
1:

SMART son:"Mom, I found a goldfish!"
Mom: "Ok, keep it in your bowl"
SMART son: "FUCK YOU YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT TAKING CARE OF GOLDFISH"

2:

"I had some goldfish yesterday. I wonder why it was smiling at me even though it was gonna die and get digested and turn into shit."

3:

SMART daughter: "Dad, look at that goldfish!"
Dad: "Oh, that's a person, not a goldfish!"
SMART daughter: "DUMBASS I WAS THINKING OF THE PERSON "
by Corey the best Definer July 20, 2016
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goldfish ass tuna-faced bitch

"The bitchiest of bitches. Reserved for one who consistently whines, thinks themselves the best, and must be taken down a notch through the use of a sweet-ass insult."
Bro 1: "Hey man, did you see that nerd Tyler? He's always going on about how cool he is and he always yells at everyone."
Bro 2:"Yeah, he's a goldfish ass tuna-faced bitch."
Bro 1: "Woah, dude, I don't know if I would go that far."
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Goldfish NostrilBlaster

The insertion of a goldfish snack into one nostril, the free nostril is then covered, and with a large exhale the goldfish is blasted out from the nostril.
My Goldfish NostrilBlaster flew 5 feet!
by nostrilblaster#1 December 2, 2011
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