To truly describe a douche would be relatively impossible. But here are some of the tell-tale signs that let you know if you, or someone you know maybe be suffering from being a douche:
-Wears
american eagle/lacoste shirts with collar permanently popped
-Walks with a little too much of a gangster bounce in his step(note that this rule does not apply if douche in question is black. being dark brown doesn't keep you exempt from this rule)
-Talks like they have an expanse of knowledge of the world when it is in fact the opposite
-Talks obnoxiously and douche-tastically loud so that others have no option but to overhear they're ridiculously trivial conversations
-Pretending to be black, under any
circumstances, constitutes automatic doucheness
-Punch their friends on the shoulder soft enough not to hurt, but hard enough to think they actually have some dominance in their circle of friends
-Wear the
christian cross on a necklace when their not religious because they want to be like one of those religious badasses in the action movies(e.g. the sniper in Saving Private Ryan. only but he was actually religious)
-Thinking their
the fucking bees knees when in reality they're just a DOUCHE!!!
*brown man walks in with
popped collar and overly large bounce in his step*
Observer 1: Check out the height on that collar. A true display of
douchebaggery
Observer 2: And the bounce puts the icing on his douchebag cake.
Observer 3: I bet he thinks he's the
fucking bees knees...
