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Des Moines Trombone

When you just got demoted from the big leagues and need to blow off some steam with the locals in bumfuck Iowa. The guy shoves a whole corn up the girl’s ass, lights in on fire, and immediately covers the corn with the bell of a trombone. The girl lets a massive fart rip so flames come shooting out of the trombone.
Dude, I can’t believe the Cubs fucking demoted me to AAA. I’m gonna take Sheila out to do a Des Moines Trombone tonight!
by GoCubs2916 June 6, 2018
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Des Moines Dripper

When a girl eats a large amount of beans, the during anal she will experience large amounts of diarrhea. After shooting a load in the ass, she will release it all into a bucket and drink it. The man is referred to as the dipper and the woman is the dripper.
Man 1: Why do you smell like shit?
Man 2 (Dipper): I just did the Des Moines Dripper.
by Thicc nugg December 17, 2020
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Des Moines Eastsider

Citizen of Des Moines, Iowa's east side of the city. From the toxic waste rail yards to the most northeastern parts of the city, an eastsider can always be identified by their sub-human persona.
Des Moines Eastsider - Examples

Look for vehicles and attire plastered with EASTSIDER or eastsider 4 life.
Also reference numerous telltale signs of a true eastsider.

Male: Absent expression, gang-banger garb, arrogant, loud, obnoxious, always flying gang signs, numerous tatoos on arms and neck. Smell of garbage. On "celly" with baby-momma who is wanting more money usually yelling at top of their lungs. Drive POS ghetto cruisers with EASTSIDER on windscreen. Vehicle has "22's" that are worth more than total car value.

Female: Unattractive, two or more children with different fathers, overweight, on "celly" with her baby-daddy wanting more money, tatoos on arms and neck, smell of tuna, arrogant, drives busted up ghetto cruisers with eastsider plastered on the windows, kids jumping around the car whilst driving on city streets, yelling at children at stores.

All of whom frequent WalMart stores, beer gardens and county fairs with ungroomed children. Drive city streets as if they own the boulevard. Usually not found out of their own element due to low self esteem and heavy body odor.

Caution: Eastsiders should be approached with extreme caution and a bottle of Lysol. The initial shock of interacting with one will leave your IQ many points lower. Usually found working at fast food restaurants, warehouses, used car dealerships and pawn shops. An eastsider is a master of deceit. They will lie, cheat and steal anything to attempt to advance in society. Be wary of eastsiders, your life could be in harms way around them. Do not befriend once their identity is known. Destruction, sorrow and death follow in their wake.
by I found me one dead once January 27, 2009
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Des Moines Surprise

When reciving a blumpie, after delivering the topeka destroyer, blumpee puts a finger in the ass of blumper(thus completing the hat trick where blumper has a mouthfull of cock, a nosefull of shit, a back covered in vomit and a assfull of thumb).
I believe that I am ready for the German Porn Olympics because I have pulled off a Des Moines Surprise,
by decay 66 April 9, 2003
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Des Moines Slug Fest

When two large people get into a fight over the last piece of Iowa sweet corn.
After Jedediah finished his work for the day, he drove down to watch the Des Moines Slug Fest.
by JeromeTheTurtle January 16, 2021
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Des Moines Neti Pot

The act of holding your kneeling partner's head back toward the end of a blow job, shooting your thick, hot load all over their up-turned face, then proceeding to shove the dripping cum up their nose with the head of your cock. If your partner is a good slut, they will become extra-aroused as the cum dries.
Whenever I would go over to her place, Gumar would drop to her knees and beg for a Des Moines Neti Pot.
by Kate McGee June 9, 2011
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Des Moines Spit and Spin

In this position, the male has his cock partway in the female's vagina. The male hocks loogie on his own cock, pushes it all the way in the vagina, and the female promptly conducts a 360 spin around the man's cock releasing an intense amount of friction and heat in the process.
The first date went amazing. I took her back to my place, and one thing led to another, and we ended up doing a Des Moines Spit and Spin on my futon.
by juckerafison December 17, 2020
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