Crysturbate

Being so depressed with any aspect of your life, normally your love life, that you cry before, during, or after masturbating alone in your room.

After getting turned down on Valentine's day, Greg went home and crysturbated the night away.

by Blind idiot February 15, 2018

crysterbate

To masturbate and cry simultaneously.

"Dude, you hear Bob's gf broke up with him last night before sex?"

"Yeah, he's probably in a crysterbate session right now."

by Zokwhat April 28, 2014

Crysterbate

1)When you are sad and horny at the same time, you crysterbate. Crying while jerking it.

2)Christerbate same as crysterbate but doing a Jesus Christ pose.

James found out his girlfriend was cheating on him, he locked himself in his room to crysterbate.

by Evan Bahler February 2, 2020

cryerbate

v. to cry, whine, or otherwise complain to garner pleasurable attention and sympathy. Carries a negative connotation, especially when used to describe chronic, pointless bitching.

We've all heard it before so why don't you go cryerbate in your room and leave us alone?

by febrile42 July 20, 2006

Crysterbate

Verb: To Crysterbate

Cry-sterbating is when a guy stands in a corner, crying using his own tears as lube while he jerks off sobbing, nuts into a teaspoon, drinks the nut because he's low on zinc, and then sits in the fetal position rocking back and forth wondering "When the hell did my life get so depressing?" Then he remembers and does it all again. Just like shampoo directions, rinse, wash, and repeat.

Billy: Wheres Dillon?

Josh: He's probably at home cry-sterbating again

Dillon tends to crysterbate instead of masturbating because his life is so fucked up. Plus he's low on zinc.

by Trip Wilson May 30, 2017

crysturbate

|krīstərˌbāt|
verb no obj.
stimulate one's own genitals for sexual pleasure while using one's own tears for lubrication.

After Genevieve left him for a bookkeeper, Alfred's crushing loneliness led him to crysturbate until his eyes were dry and his wiener chafed.

by godfred zigfried May 6, 2014

cryerbate

To cry, whine, or otherwise complain to garner pleasurable attention and sympathy. Negative connotation, especially when used to describe chronic, pointless bitching.

We've all heard it before so why don't you go cryerbate in your room and leave us alone?

by febrile42 September 5, 2008