Management Consultant

Glorified business hooker, typically hired by a consulting whorehouse, which pimps out its consultants to clients, who then proceed to fuck the consultants over until they're pleased (or until the consultants are dead), pay the whorehouse big bucks, leaving the consultant with little commission and lasting trauma.

Hopeful college grad: What are some key qualities I need to have be a management consultant?
Experienced management consultant: Be able to handle long fuckings and be okay with a shortened lifespan

A: You're a management consultant? What are some of the most exotic places you've traveled to and the coolest resorts you've stayed at for work?
B: I once stayed at a Best Western to get fucked by my client in bumblefuck Western Virginia everyday for a year.

by TPain Not Impressed June 22, 2014

Academic Consultant

A grandiose windbag who bullshits for a fee. They can't do anything useful, so they enter teaching, but they find out they can't teach very well so they try to teach teachers, but the teacher they teach think they are tossers, so they become academic consultants.

Chas: Who the fuck is that grandiose tosser at the front of the room who keeps bullshitting?

Nick: He's what's called an Academic Consultant. Tosser.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 25, 2010

Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant

From the movie 'Fast Times at Ridgemont High'. A skeevy loser that hooks up with underage girls because of his job at the mall and ability to drive them to 'the point' in his '78 T-Bird.

"I've known him since high school, and he's still banging 16 year-olds that come into the Radio Shack. He's totally Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant!"

by ~x~barbird~ v January 6, 2009

Consultant Coffee

Any drink that is made or paid for by someone higher up than you. This applies particularly to medical doctors to medical students.

Student 1: "I got consultant coffee today"

Student 2: "jealoussssss"

by sratk2 July 5, 2011

constract

When you're a contractor, in IT or other such field, where your current short term contract keeps getting extended, seemingly until the end of time.

Yeah, I'm in a constract with Apple..it's been extended 17 times over the last 3 years.

by schmano and yuoshua March 15, 2017

Constracted

So as to be too preoccupied with other thoughts that it becomes difficult to think straight

I was so constracted by her looks that the best line I could come up with was "Hello"

by levanima October 23, 2010

Management Consultant

Someone whose job involves mostly solving other people’s problem

As a management consultant, I’m busy solving people’s problem and creating some for myself

by Crazymgmtcslt May 9, 2021