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Christian mom

a mom who stereotypes almost everything, doesn't let there kid play anything rated above T, their kid can only listen to Gods plan,thinks all metal is evil, and is terrified of muslims.
oh God it's her anyone but her,the christian mom.
by ooga booga2 May 7, 2019
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christian martyr

1. A person who believes in Jesus Christ and refuses to give up their beliefes and dies for them.
2. A person who dies as a missionary or other sevice to Jesus.
St. Stephen was stoned to death
Felix Mantz was drowned
Many people was burned at the stake
But most importantly, Jesus Christ died on the cross for everyone's sins, yours, mine, and everyone elses. you can red his story in the book of Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John. Jesus is the ultimate christian martyr, and the reason everyone else chooses to become one.
by blueflower999 November 1, 2010
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purple headed christian meat missile

n. See also Penis
n. The monster lurking within a Christian male's pants, waiting to attack his lover's meat wallet or cum dumpster.
n. Term first used on a popular South Florida talk show, by regular caller Archie.
"Dude, I gave her all of my purple headed christian meat missile last night."
"No shit!"
"Yeah, her fuckhole ate it up like she was practicing for a hot dog eating contest."
by Birdielin14 September 15, 2008
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Christian Martinoli

The G.O.A.T at narrate football matches. Even better if he is along side Luis Garcia. Has 24,000,393,217 sentences that every one is funnier than the last one. For example:
- Que esta pasando, Doctor! Este equipo se cae a pedazos!
- Neuer, aunque no ataja, ataja!
- Francois Meme al Corcovado!
- Que esta haciendo Vucetich, Doctor!
- Oribe (Peralta) para presidente de la ONU (UN)!
- Madre de Deus!
- A no bueno!
- DE QUE TE VAS A DISFRASAR!
-¡El único haitiano en el área!
- Example:
He is like Christian Martinoli, has a sentence for everything!
by Mariano Closs January 4, 2023
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Christian Music

Music lacking in self expression and feeling. Like the Jonas Brothers, only made moreso for the soccer moms and the eight year olds.

"Yes Jesus Loves Me"... badly played.

The type of crap you get when you go to some kids youth group and everyone's swaying with their eyes closed singing a stupid song.
Christian Kid - YEAH! Jesus!
Normal Person with a Soul - That's cool... I wrote a song.
Christian Kid - Nope... nope... This has drug references in it...
Normal Person with a Soul - Okay... How about this one?
Christian Kid - I can't play this... It says damn.
Normal Person with a Soul - Well... what do you have?
Christian Kid - I've got Casting Crowns and an original that I wrote... "You built my faith up and stuff... I freaking love you"
Normal Person with a Soul - That sounds like everything else you write and listen to...
Christian Kid - I KNOW! It's totally Christian Music!
by Koffing September 10, 2009
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christian music

The only genre of music that is defined by its lyrical content rather than its sound, which is sad because there are just as many different genres lumped under the title "christian music" as are in the mainstream. And by the way, it's awesome when a real Christian band has a mainstream hit or crosses over (as long as they remain a Christian band).
"I can't believe Underoath and Chris Tomlin are both grouped together under the same genre of music! What's up with that???"
by annaBanana3 June 7, 2005
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Christian-Music

The Christian- prefix on any musical genre stands for the employment of that particular genre as a means for brainwashing. Fortunately the makers of Christian- music usually do not understand the genre they are trying to emulate and do a very poor job.
Christian-Music, Christian-Rock, Christian-Rap, Christian-BongoSitarYodelHarmonicaEuphoniumGroove
by asdf February 18, 2009
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