carpenter vibe

(n) a feeling exuding from someone that gives you the impression that he/she hates your guts: Also a death stare

Nick: Hey man, that chick totally gives off a carpenter vibe when we're around her.

Will: Yeah dude, she hates our guts.

Nick: Let's get out of here.

by Wolverine/Lionfish, GS June 24, 2009

Carpenter's Wet Dream

A woman with small breasts and loose morals.

Suzie is a "Carpenter's Wet Dream". She's flat as a board and easy to nail.

by The Original Big Daddy G April 28, 2009

carpenter's macarena

Looking like a line dancer at a wedding, the act of a carpenter looking for a pencil, putting his/her hands behind both ears, then both shirt pockets, then both front pants pockets, then both back pockets, then spinning in a circle looking on the floor, scratch top of head...repeat.

Billy looked like he was doing the carpenter's macarena, looking for his pencil.

by dacabinator December 6, 2007

carpenter

A man who has wood and does things with it. Carpenters use their tools for such purposes as screwing, drilling, and reaming. Rubbing and sawing away at old logs are also common activities. Nailing, while definitely an important part of carpentry, is not nearly as good as screwing. Carpenters also often get glue all over their wood.
While carpentry is an important and serious subject - after all, without it, we wouldn't have such things as chairs, desks, tables and doors - the terminology of carpentry is fraught with opportunities to make crass sexual innuendos.
Carpenters themselves, of which I am one, exploit these opportunities whenever possible.
Jesus was a famous carpenter, but all the jokes were removed by po-faced editors when he wrote The Bible.

Drilling, screwing, nailing, reaming, rubbing - all things done by a carpenter.

by Tony Prescott September 29, 2006

The Carpenter's Level

Sitting in a tub of water and farting while squeezing your legs together and trying to keep the fart bubble from coming out below your knees.By carefully raising or lowering your legs you can actually contain the bubble midway between the anus and the knees,thus attaining level.

Doing the carpenter's level in the tub is almost like playing one of those B-B in the maze games.

by wolfbait51 May 5, 2011

carpenters balls

a painful testicular condition caused by sitting on a hot tar roof all day. causes your balls to swell and ache to the extreme

carl got carpenters balls from working on his roof an could barely walk for a week

by jessica1# February 8, 2010

Charisma Carpenter

American Actress best known for portraying the character Cordelia Chase on the TV program Buffy The Vampire Slayer and its spin-off Angel. She was also featured on Veronica Mars, and can be seen in the 2010 big budget film The Expendables along side Jason Statham, Jet Li, and Sylvestor Stallone. She has posed for Playboy and is currently filming Fast Five with Dwayne Johnson, Vin Diesel, and Paul Walker.

Charisma Carpenter is an original cast member of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

by Serenity1976 July 11, 2010