Two Squirrels and a Monkey

when you have two chicks sucking each one of your nuts and your howling like a monkey.

The RocKK "Yeah dude, he got them to do the "Two Squirrels and a Monkey" on him last night"

B-Dog: "Ahh LUCKY! So that explains why I heard Chuckles yelling last night..."

by Bdpballaaaa February 19, 2012

Jesus fucked a monkey!

Phrase used when a pub door swings back and nearly dislodges the pyramid of glasses being carried back to table, or when a twat cyclist speeds through a red light at a pedestrian crossing and almost kills you, or practically anytime 'fuckin hell', 'you fuckin twat', or 'shiiiiiiit' simply doesn't cut the mustard.
Used sparingly, it's effective, offensive and infectious.

Jesus fucked a monkey!, watch out twat.

by TauntonJah November 5, 2019

Fuck a monkey

1. An exclamation of frustration
2. An exclamation of awesomeness
3. A dismissal
4. To totally suck at something
5. Something you say when there's nothing else to say
6. To have sexual intercourse with a primate

1. "Why won't this thing work??? Argh, fuck a monkey!"
2. "How 'bout that GWAR concert last night?" "Fuck a monkey, that was awesome!"
3. Dumbass walking in on conversation: "You like GWAR??? You guys are sickos!" Guys: "Oh, go fuck a monkey!"
4. *Awkward silence* "Fuck a monkey!"
5. "Man, I fuck a monkey at this!"
6. "I gotta go to the zoo and fuck a monkey."

by Blood Seraph December 13, 2008

snap off a monkey tail

To take a shit

I'll be right back, I gotta go snap off a monkey tail!

by El Donko Deluxo June 27, 2003

Dressing a Monkey in Silk

Dressing a monkey in silk does not change the fact that it is a monkey. This is the phrase Spanish speakers use to indicate a bad thing has been made to look good.
An Equivalent English Phrase is 'Putting Lipstick on a Pig.'
Note: In Columbia and Spain, 'Dressing a Monkey in Silk' has no negative connotations of any kind.

'McCain is Dressing a Monkey in Silk' - Obama

by Legatus 1TTA1 October 25, 2008

Threw a monkey wrench into the clockworks

This is when something is running smoothly like the gears in a clock,but then asshole has to but in with his/her two cents and fuck everything up. The worthless opinion of this tool is like taking a monkey wrench and jammin it all up in the gears of your otherwise smooth running machine.

Everything for the party was going just as planned, until that asshole got all drunk and threw a monkey wrench into the clockworks.

by TV CAR March 26, 2010

Ackin a monkey

when someone is acting like an animal or a fool.

"Man, will you stop ackin a monkey!!"

by DML67 April 19, 2007