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Jesus Hernandez C

literally so h0t just ask me out already

hint - my zodiac starts with a a
by urfavhater November 22, 2021
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Jesus Syndrome

When a person believes someone (who won or didn't win the presidency, politicians in general) or some fairytale entity (jesus, the devil) is responsible for why their lives suck and bad things always happen to them and allow those entities to instill fear (fear of going to hell, fear of becoming "cattle breeding" by men if Trump wins etc). A true adult takes accountability and responsibility for their own life, outcomes, happiness, and as such creates the life they want without blaming anyone else. Blaming others keeps one in a state of being a child, sheeple, as they never grow up and are truly responsible for their own actions.
Better watch what you say to John Doe, he suffers Jesus Syndrome and will use it as ammunition to never do anything in life and swear you were the reason his entire life was ruined forever.
by GO DJ HaKa November 16, 2024
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Jesus

What if Jesus was a fat guy with curly/bushy and dark hair, but nobody knows it because they always see a skinny guy with fair hair that looks like a Northern European in a stained glass window at a church? What if the church wanted the image that would draw in the most money, instead of the true image, isn't that a possibility?
Nobody was alive back when Jesus was, so he might have been a fat guy with curly/bushy hair that looks nothing like what people usually see at church.
by Solid Mantis February 12, 2021
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Jesus cable

A Jesus cable is a cable that will likely cause death, fire or an explosion, like a 220V to USB-C cable.
Mate A: Don't plug that one in.
Mate B: Why?
Mate A: It's a Jesus cable, you'll die if you do.
by SmokeAlt2EveryDay August 21, 2023
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Satanic Jesus

Jesus with horns, a pitchfork and a devil's tail adorned with a crown of thorns. He has a shepherd's crook and a pentagram necklace. Ruler of Hellven. He walks on cloven hoof. You must forgive him for everybody's sins since he's taking responsibility for them.
"The rod and the staff of Satanic Jesus is the comforting key to eternal salivation!"
by ANOTHERDEADROMEO April 27, 2023
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Jesus Christ

This is the second part(I’m sorry if this is getting annoying)
2) Now, to prove that Christianity is the only true religion, we need to look at what other religions are doing. As far as we know every popular religion out there has included Jesus in some form or another.

Islam says he is a prophet.

Famous Buddhist teachers(like Dalaï Lama) say that Jesus Christ is also an enlightened like Buddha and lived previous lives.

Finally, a lot of Hindu scholars and political leaders see Jesus as acknowledge Jesus as either a Āchārya, Shadu, or Avatar(these are just to name a few. See more in Wikipedia “religious views of Jesus”).
With all this information we can say that Christianity is the only true religion, because every major religion venerates Jesus as a wise man whose words we can trust. And what are his words? They are “I am the way and I am the truth and I am the life”. You see, while Jesus has become part of every major religion, he also tells us that salvation can only be obtained through him. And as he himself states that “you can only get to the Father through me”. And who is the Father? His is god the Father from the Christian religion. Jesus is part of every religion and yet he tells us to only focus on one!

To whoever read this, thank you for your time. I hope this helps somehow
Dang bro Jesus Christ really is HIM
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Crusty for Jesus

Having such deep passion for the lord that the only way to function is through the divine process of crusting oneself. The back pressure from clenching your butt cheeks hard enough together is a good starting point.
When a spenkwich is sad, he gets crusty for Jesus
by Fingaboi1996 May 7, 2024
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