jesus

not real

jesus died lol

by why is every thing taken April 16, 2023

Jesus

The One True God and The Son Of God (he is god incarnated in human form so he is god but at the same time the way he was born was by god impregnating mary so he is also the son). He is real, He loves you, He cares about you, He sacraficed himself on the cross for you. All you need to do is believe in him and his sacrafice. I pray you will find your way through christ and know the truth!

"I love Jesus"
"Me too"
"Thank you Jesus for what you did for us!"
"Amen"

by rayfire1234 May 17, 2023

Jesus Christ Lizard

Also known as a Chinese Water Dragon, a lizard that’s well-known for its ability to run on water.

Holy sh*t! Did you see that Jesus Christ Lizard running on water?!

by GsxrBarbie May 29, 2018

Mach Jesus

Mach Jesus is a way to describe something faster than anything in the universe.
If you cant measure how fast the "object" is going, just say "Mach Jesus".
Mach is something used to measure speed.

"News reporter: A missile headed towards a random island going mach jesus has been detected by the navy"

by SidneysHandle404 February 19, 2024

Orange Jesus Christ

Orange Jesus Christ is an expletive interjection that refers to the Christian religious figure of Jesus Christ and Donald Trump combined. It is typically uttered in anger, surprise, or frustration; although often with humorous intent. It should be used when the more common expletive, Jesus Christ, is just not sufficient to explain the outrageousness of a situation. OJC is an acronym with the same meaning and use.

Have you been following American politics? Orange Jesus Christ it’s out of control.

by Blackduck21 February 5, 2024

jetway jesus

The act of a person using a wheelchair to obtain early boarding on a (usually) Southwest Airlines flight, only to miraculously be cured and not require the wheelchair to deplane at the destination. The scourge of passengers who follow the rules because those passengers board first and take up the prime front seats. Quite common on flights to Florida.

We had eight Jetway Jesus passengers on our flight.

by Iureport March 27, 2024

jesus muncher

Anybody who is part of a religion that has jesus as the son of god and is so devoted to where it sickens those around them

Bro im tring to hookup with that cute redhead

Dude dont bother she talks bout jesus and god too damn much she s a total jesus muncher

by MJP2100 December 26, 2013