John

sweet, funny, cute smile, nice brown hair, very confusing, will lead you on, will talk you for a week and randomly stop talking to you out of no where. a liar.
Don't go out with him, he is such a John.
by sweeeeethearrrrt November 22, 2010
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John

Most often spotted tending turtles or collecting mud. A John is super mysterious and, thus, everyone’s always curious. But a John often confuses simply because he’s always confused. Therefore, if you approach a John, walk slowly, it often takes a John longer to understand and comprehend seemingly simple things. Initially may seem like a jerk. Nevertheless, a John always means well, so don’t take his tourette-like exclamations personally.
Person 1: Why is that man selling mud?
Person 2: He’s a John.
Person 1: Ah, sad.
by xCrossroadsx November 25, 2010
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John

A retard that's a pedophile and eats their own poop and is a simp and sucks their own dick
Aoeuugdgdbdbbdndnsndjohndjksosidjdhsysggdhssuhstsgsgdhsuaudhdndjsoshdyhsgdhshshdbdbsbgshshsbndskskhdhsgsgshjdkfodhdhshshdhdhshhsbsbsbbddbdbdbdbdbddnsjskskdokajjsjdjdjsjsjsjsisksjsjushsdyyduxnanwbehurodpqoqkahsbdbwhuqyahdbwjasnfnxzbxieishshndnsksjdhsbdjwoisjdnsnsgdhsiahdhwgeyrujzbnsjsoiehshdnsjshgshdusiabbsndjshsbndsiaudjdosjsjdhdhdggdgdgdhsnks
by I eat poop 69 February 23, 2022
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John

John is that nerdy/ socially awkward kid but has friends that talks about old memes and weird memes like dinosaurs or moths.
John stared at me when his was in the trees.
by Typed May 10, 2019
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John

Fortnite multifaced son of a bitch plays who beats his meat
by Jj johnson J3317 February 14, 2018
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John

He isn't the most attractive man in the world but he makes up for it in the bedroom/kitchen/couch. he has the one of the most beautiful eyes in the world. he doesn't lie nor does he dog the boys, but on the odd occasion he does doggy-style the ladies. he is a ladies man. he has the most charm ever. he has a huge dick. he is good at basketball, drawing and ladies.
Girl: He has such a huge Dick, it makes sense though cause he's a John
by Janie22Janie November 07, 2016
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John

Is the cutest, the most sweetest and amazing guy you can ever meet. He gives the best hugs, and has the most irresistible voice in the whole world. He is most likely to be tall, and very athletic. He is intelligent, and is a sweet talker :) when he meets the girl of his dreams, he is fully committed to loving her and giving her the world. This girl means the world to him and he will surely not let her go. In the twenties he’ll marry a girl who’s name will start with a K, and they’ll live happily ever after in a cabin in the woods. Probably Adirondacks
Kar: johns so hot omg
Friend: yas bitch
by Booboobear69 March 19, 2019
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