Jonas Brothers 

A band that teenage and preteen girls all over the world are obsessing over for some strange reason that I can't even begin to fathom. Possibly it's because they (the young girls) are having this weird hallucination of them being hot, which is absolutely crazy. That's definitely the only reason, unless they look up at them because they wish their boyfriends had that kind of skill in dumping them (NOT). Because the idea that anyone could even like their music just the tiniest bit is a thought that my entire mind repels against.

Trust me, I know about this, I am one of the few teens who haven't been caught up in this massive brainwashing. Save yourself before you are too!!!!!!

(Jonas Brothers come on radio)
Fangirl One: OMGOMGOMG it's the jonas brothers!!! nick is so hot!!!! yay!!!!!!
Sane person: ahhhhhH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my ears are in torture!!
(Fangirls turn it up)
Fangirl Two: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!??!?! The jobros are amazing, talented young boys!! and OMG JOE IS SO HOT!!!!!
Sane person: HELP!!!
(Sane person attempts to change station; fangirls turn on him with knives)
Fangirl One: And Nick is so hot!!!!
Fangirl Two: Joe only broke up with Taylor so he could go out with ME!!!
Sane person: *gurgle*

Jonas Brothers by onlysaneonearoundhereanymore February 16, 2009

Jonas hater 

Probably any mature person with at least a modicum of taste, dignity and the ability to resist countless cringe-worthy marketing schemes from soulless entities such as (mainly) the Disney corporation.

an example of something you may hear from the mouth of any so called 'Jonas hater' when prompted:

"I think for myself."

Enough said!

Jonas hater by SlimTony June 9, 2009

Jonas Brothers 

JONAS BROTHERS =

1. They actually like men, but weren't ever attractive enough to attract decent men, so they though HEY LETS PEDOPHILE 12 YEAR OLD GIRLS.
YAY.
2. They're ugly because their parents were cows.
3. They say they're Christian, but really they're Amish. SHH, SECRETS.
4. They've actually gotten blowjobs, handjobs, and got their vaginas fingerbanged by their 12year old fans.
5. Cockroaches write their music.
6. They fucked Walt Disney's dead body, and that's why Disney allows them on their channel.


THANK YOU :)

JONAS BROTHERS :
1. NICK : Damn, I wish we could be gay.
JOE : BUT WE'RE UGLY :(
OTHER BROTHER : HMM, 12 year olds are hot these days.
All : YAY.

2. ALL THE BROTHERS: HEY MOM AND DAD.
MOM AND DAD : MOO.

3. NICK: OH NO, THIS GIRL TOLD ME TO CALL HER! BUT IM AMISH.
JOE : OH SHIT.
NICK : plus buy me condoms, cause im 14 and need them.

4. NICK : OOH BABY.
12 YEAR OLD : I DONT KNOW HOW TO SUCK DICK BUT I LOVE YOU.
JOE : SUCK ME TOO.
OTHER BROTHER : FINGER BANG MY VAG.

5.COCKROACH : I WRITE THEIR MUSIC.

6. WALT DISNEY : OOH BABYYY.
NICK, JOE, OTHERGUY : DAMN YOU'RE TIGHT.
DISNEY PEOPLE : ROFL. YOU'RE IN.

Jonas Brothers by YOUR MOM SUCKS JONAS DICK. August 6, 2008

JOnas BRothers 

A group that has no future in their life. They have really bad songs, and they simultaneously go out with Miley Cyrus and other crap celebrities.

Hey, you know that band Jonas Brothers?
Yeah, why?
Coz they suck.

JOnas BRothers by Mr X is asleep. February 15, 2009

Jonas Brothers 

Three guys (if you can even call them that) who for some reason have a shit load of fans even though they clearly do not possess any talent; you would realize this if you weren't retarded.
Their "music" (I almost threw up writing that) is supposedly directed at 8 to maybe 14 year olds, yet ALL THEIR FUCKING SONGS ARE ABOUT LOVE. No damned 10 year old knows what the hell it feels like to be in love. See a problem? Hopefully you do 'cause man, there's a LOT of them.
Random things I feel like ranting about:

1. They. Are. Not. Rock. Not now, not ever. If you think they are rock you should probably just drop dead now. Like, right now. Thanks.
2. ANYONE comparing JB to The Beatles should automatically just fall off the damned earth on to their own little planet of terrible music (JB, Miley Cyrus, all other Disney tools). It's best for everyone who actually know what real music is.
3. I see them EVERYWHERE I go. Which is indeed a horrible sight on account of I don't enjoy my eyes spazzing at the sight of them. And on that note...
4. THEY'RE SO FUCKING UGLY. Christ they look like deformed giraffes combined with dead raccoons (no offense to either specie).
5. It makes me laugh in a beyond retarded manner when the best insult fans can come up with is "YOUR JUST JEALOUS!!!!" ('Your' usually used instead of the correct 'you're' on account of their brains have melted to nothingness). The fuck is there to be jealous of? Sure I'm not famous, sure barely anyone knows my name, but I have more talent than they will ever have, thus, THEY should be jealous of ME. Biiitch.
6. Hopefully, if we are lucky enough, in a few months JB will dissapear without a trace. Now that, would be AWESOME.

Yea that was my rant.

They have such shit lyrics. I'm sick of people saying that they're so meaningful and inspiring:
"I climb a tree outside her home.
To make sure she is alone.
She looks up and sees me there.
Still I can't help but stop and stare.
That's what I go to school for.
Even though it is a real bore.
You can call me crazy.
She is so amazing."

First of all, what the hell why are the Jonas Brothers stalkers? They sound like a creepy version of Dr.Seuss. Second, if a Jonas Brother climbed a tree outside my house to be creepy mother fucker I'd push him off and call the cops. Third, how are these lyrics meaningful? Well, I guess they COULD be meaningful.. to someone who's a bloody stalker and does this every night to some poor, poor soul.
& Yes, I searched up Jonas Brothers lyrics. Yes, I am downright ashamed. But it's better than knowing the lyrics! Gotta give me something for that.

Jonas Brothers by RAHHHHHH March 12, 2009

Jonas Brothers 

A canned band with the brand of disney.
They don't sing, they don't play the guitar, they walk around the stage and sometimes dance and jump up and down. Here's the big question. When everyone is jumping around and neglecting their instruments, where's the music coming from.
(PROTIP: Not them)
Also, purity rings? Give me a fuckin' break.

9 YO girl: I love the Jonas Brothers.
Me: I know, it's really not your fault at all. Blame Disney for getting at you before your mind's fully matured.

Jonas Brothers by Anonymous1245 June 24, 2008

Jonas Brothers 

One of the many horrible things coming out of that corporate, brainwashing company, Disney Channel. Sickens me.

You can trust me, when I say I am WAYYYYY smarter than any crazy girl who obviously could NEVER get a boyfriend, therefore developing some idiotic celebrity crush on someone who you will NEVER meet.

Nick Jonas will never EVER marry you!
He will never KNOW YOUR NAME!
He will never read that fan-mail you spend your time writing!
AND EVEN IF HE DID HE WOULD HE WOULD CONSIDER YOU ANOTHER ANNOYING FAN!!!

My advice to any girl who has a crush on Jonas Brothers:
GET A REALITY CHECK!!! Why don't you start wearing a bra, buy some deodorant, and GET A BOYFRIEND!!!
(preferably one you've met, knows your name, and is actually attractive)

And I am a 12 year old girl, reading at a college level, math at a 10th grade level, and I have been going out with my boyfriend (13) for over a year.

And I would get beat up SOOO bad if I even MENTIONED them at school(trust me, it happened to someone else)

And yes, this school does have 15 year olds too.

Girl- OMG!!! Don't you LOVE the Jonas Brothers!?! They are SOOOO cute!!!

Me- Maybe you should have a crush on someone from the same state as you. Or at least one you've talked to.

Girl- Oh, who needs you? I'm gonna listen to my new CD.

Me- OW!!! MY EARS! MAKE IT STOP!!!

Jonas Brothers by Angelicawalker123 October 1, 2008