I Guess I'll Just Kill Myself

Suicide is not the answer.

I Guess I'll Just Kill Myself
No, everyone you know will miss you
You're right

by Bi poppi January 12, 2023

Flashbanged myself

When you masturbate and hit yourself in the eye during the cumshot

I was just jerking off and fucking flashbanged myself

by Thatshowyougetants2257 July 28, 2023

beat myself

The client didn't not explain what she meant, but wanted me to figure it out.

The patient stated she like to 'beat herself'; I beat myself sometimes.

by Ovidsingh July 31, 2023

I myersed myself

To screw yourself over in cards. ”

Also always in the friends zone.

“Ah shit, I Myersed myself!”

by Shakes224 August 7, 2023

i think i just shit myself hard

when you absolutely blow your pants up

guy 1: yo! i just made that shot from 50 feet away!!

guy 2: i think i just shit myself hard

by some stupid guy September 5, 2023

Myself

Wow, ok, so that's what I mean about the "property." So, if that's your response to the question "what do you have to offer a man?" You're offering yourself... To the man... AS WHAT? Like... Is it AS *Insert POSSESSIVE pronoun* Woman? You're HIS now?

Woman "What do YOU have to offer a woman?"

Hym "Offer? Like and exchange of goods? What do I get for my offering?"

Woman "Myself."

Hym "WOW! That... I take a lot of flak for the 'property' comments but you're telling me if I have the right things to offer I get your self, indefinitely? Wow that is sad! It's sad that it's framed that way entirely. My contempt for you has diminished substantially.... Yeah, that actually stings a little bit, I'm not even going to lie. Hmm... Yeah, what I have to offer... Is $50. So, I don't know, figure it out. Do some math. Figure out what that gets me and get back to me, alright... Ouch. Yeah, that actually hurt MY feeling a little bit. Damn! Now I'm sad. That is sad."

by Hym Iam September 29, 2023

Burned myself a headache

Someone did something that left him with a big feeling of pain inside their head. Usually self-inflicted and self-aware. Maybe this person did something inappropriate and has to sort things out.

"Bro, after you and Jenny talked she left the party early. What happened?"
"Yeah I know. My bad, I burned myself a headache"

by Yeahprobablyat8pmorso November 22, 2021