coffee destroyer

if there is a coffee maker, it means there is a coffee destoryer. but only in legends is it said to exist

I HAVE FOUND THE LEGEND OF THE COFFEE DESTROYER!

by rubythecatgirl October 3, 2018

coffee paradox

When even the simplest task is impossible to perform before drinking coffee.
From Socrates theory that sometimes making coffee is too complex to tackle before drinking coffee.

That giant mess on the counter occurred because of coffee paradox. I put the grounds in, I put the water in, and I turned it on. But I forgot to put the pot under that water drippy thingy so now I'm sucking the coffee out of this towel until I get enough coffee in me to do it correctly.

by barkinspider December 6, 2013

Coffee dancing

Prerequisite: The state of having drunk a few cups of coffee and sitting still reading or infront of the computer.

This will result in fervent foot-based dancing because of a lacking of calmness. E. G. while waiting for the microwave.

I cant wait two minutes, aaaaargh!

...........
-Please Stop coffee dancing, it is weird.
- I dont care mofo I just need to fix so much fun stuff today!

-eh, okay.

...........
-Oh, youre coffe walking have notched up one level.

by Maggi Coffe-Lover March 6, 2013

Nuclear Coffee

Another term for leftover coffee - especially really good coffee. When you have too much cold coffee to dump out before starting another pot so you nuke it a cup at a time in the microwave. This is different than re-warming a cup you allowed to get cold. Incentives are high if you buy really good coffee and happens most frequently in the morning or late afternoon.

"Okay, there's plenty of nuclear coffee in the pot. It's good stuff and you can microwave it, so don't dump it out and make a new pot. I don't give a rat's ass if you're a coffee snob. it's to good and I paid to much for it to dump out."

by Da Chetster March 25, 2013

coffee torque

The power and speed generated by one or more coffee stirrers.

Unable to generate any coffee torque with just a single plastic stirrer, I added three more stirrers to the mix.

by sparkus March 3, 2011

bank coffee

Bad tasting, shitty complementary coffee such as that set out all day for customers at a bank. It often tastes burnt if sitting in a pot or tastes weak or acidic if served from a thermos dispenser. Occasionally somebody will help themselves to a cup, but nobody really enjoys it. Often served in small white styrofoam cups with a large canister of powdered creamer nearby.

“Is there a place to get coffee here?”
“Nah, all they serve here is shitty bank coffee.”

by Dav1d VB May 29, 2018

Coffee Hangover

Coffee Hangover is a stage of disorientation after a long day functioning on coffee when the effect wears off. This usually happens similar to a crash except at it's worst, usually on a long day of getting up early with minimal sleep. The coffee hangover consists of several stages.
1. Slight Irritation. You may become slightly annoyed or bothered. You probably are starting to lose some energy at this point.
2. Loss of Patience. You've lost patience with most things at this point. You just don't care by now and you can't stand being around people.
3. Mood Swing. You may become emotional, sad, or angry depending on your condition.
4. Disorder. By now you can't even walk straight and your words and thoughts don't make sense. You shouldn't attempt to communicate with another human being at this point.
5. Shutdown. At this point you have no energy left and you'll have to lay down. Don't even bother trying to sit up. You may pass out. Nothing but sleep, Acoma, or hibernation can fix this by now

I don't know if this definition makes sense because I'm on a coffee hangover.

by Anti-hater skater June 8, 2015