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Miserable Coffee

A cup of coffee, usually Maxwell House, that is drunk in a miserable; sad and depressing, cold situation, to either make the situation either less or even more miserable.
Ugh, what a morning, I'm gonna go get another cup of miserable coffee.
by T405ED March 9, 2009
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coffee torque

The power and speed generated by one or more coffee stirrers.
Unable to generate any coffee torque with just a single plastic stirrer, I added three more stirrers to the mix.
by sparkus March 3, 2011
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bank coffee

Bad tasting, shitty complementary coffee such as that set out all day for customers at a bank. It often tastes burnt if sitting in a pot or tastes weak or acidic if served from a thermos dispenser. Occasionally somebody will help themselves to a cup, but nobody really enjoys it. Often served in small white styrofoam cups with a large canister of powdered creamer nearby.
“Is there a place to get coffee here?”
“Nah, all they serve here is shitty bank coffee.”
by Dav1d VB May 29, 2018
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coffee or something

A subtle way to lure a guy to come over to your place, initially as just a "friend", so that it can lead to an opportunity of getting intimate with him while coffee is brewing in the background. Caffeine is good for male sex drive and is ideal for getting him into the mood.
Girl: Hey I'm bored. Wanna come over to my place for coffee or something?
Guy: Sure buddy! I'll be there soon.
by GudBuddy September 17, 2017
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Coffee Hangover

Coffee Hangover is a stage of disorientation after a long day functioning on coffee when the effect wears off. This usually happens similar to a crash except at it's worst, usually on a long day of getting up early with minimal sleep. The coffee hangover consists of several stages.
1. Slight Irritation. You may become slightly annoyed or bothered. You probably are starting to lose some energy at this point.
2. Loss of Patience. You've lost patience with most things at this point. You just don't care by now and you can't stand being around people.
3. Mood Swing. You may become emotional, sad, or angry depending on your condition.
4. Disorder. By now you can't even walk straight and your words and thoughts don't make sense. You shouldn't attempt to communicate with another human being at this point.
5. Shutdown. At this point you have no energy left and you'll have to lay down. Don't even bother trying to sit up. You may pass out. Nothing but sleep, Acoma, or hibernation can fix this by now
I don't know if this definition makes sense because I'm on a coffee hangover.
by Anti-hater skater June 8, 2015
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homeless coffee

When you urinate on your feces making a pungent warm liquid, usually filtered through sweaty undergarments.
I could really go for some more of Bob's homeless coffee on this fine Christmas morning.
by Rod Pretzel December 20, 2016
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range coffee

Range Coffee is like College Coffee, but without the cocaine.
I had some of your range coffee last night and everybody at work is staring at me right now.
by lastname first July 5, 2014
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