The act of a male pressing his testicles (penis held askew) against a transparent or translucent surface, rendering them flat and spread out, not unlike an oyster. The full scrotum would be against the surface. Commonly pressed surfaces include bus shelters, exgirlfriend's car windshields, and bar windows.
"So get this - we're waiting for the bus, and Brendan sees Stephanie coming our way, he totally drops his parachute pants and gives her the pressed oysters. It totally blew her away!"
"Richard showed the unsuspecting home improvement store girl his pressed oysters through the glass block he held against his waist. She was not pleased."
"Richard showed the unsuspecting home improvement store girl his pressed oysters through the glass block he held against his waist. She was not pleased."
by lexicon_t October 28, 2013
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your a depressed dolphin man.
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It is a sunny , warm morning , you lay on the grass and the wind is blowing through your fineass hair ... you look around and feel wonderful as if you can feel the earth breathing , then a wonderful fineass man like jack gyllenhaal gets down on you , best bj you ever had.. but suddenly you witness a feeling of darkness because you know jack is just a simulation by the matrix , that wonderful ass orgasm is not real ... u’re getting depressed BUT in a good way because you know you won’t lose your beloved jack , he will always be in ur heart
It is a sunny , warm morning , you lay on the grass and the wind is blowing through your fineass hair ... you look around and feel wonderful as if you can feel the earth breathing , then a wonderful fineass man like jack gyllenhaal gets down on you , best bj you ever had.. but suddenly you witness a feeling of darkness because you know jack is just a simulation by the matrix , that wonderful ass orgasm is not real ... u’re getting depressed BUT in a good way because you know you won’t lose your beloved jack , he will always be in ur heart
Friend: “Hey , did you play the last of us?”
Me:” yeah dude, it gave me an depressed orgasm.”
Friend:” damn nice !”
Me:” yeah dude, it gave me an depressed orgasm.”
Friend:” damn nice !”
by Yeva.jam December 14, 2017
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