Russian Jesus

The man who walked on tanks

Turned water into Vodka

Gave children trench coats

His mom was a mob boss

His dad was a whore

Did you hear about Russian Jesus? He is GOD

by Mr. Jesus.com March 23, 2022

Jesus

A Carpenter who was Muscular. He Never sinned (lied, got bitter, etc.) He was murdered For my Transgression.

I missed the Mark 2 + 2 = 5.

Jesus was a strong man who died and rose again From the dead.

I am a sinner (Broken Ten commandments) that he died and was bruised For.

I put all my junk on the 'Cross of Calvary..'

by Netflix-Ripan March 27, 2022

Hardbass Jesus

Alan Aztec is the Gopnik DJ also known as Hardbass Jesus, he was born in Russia, and is coming to you and USA.

"You dont come to russia
Russia come to you
When Russian man says follow me
Do as HardBass Jesus do

Russia come to you
When Russia come to you
When Russia come to you
When Russia come to USA"

by Voltron132 January 24, 2022

Jesus

Jesus means he has a gigantic penis and all the ladies love him. Jesus gets all the booty

Jesus: what up honeys?

Girls: can I smash you?

Or

Did you see Jesus ? He’s the one with the large penis

by yezuuzu January 27, 2022

Jesus

Jesus. Also known as James Buchanan Barnes, is a VERY good looking and VERY sexy individual.

“Omg is that Jesus?!”
“No that’s Bucky Barnes.”
“Ohhh, he’s really hot.”
“Ikr!”

by NotGeorgia January 30, 2022

Jesus

This man right here is the most loving God that never leaves you even you have many problems and he cares to you even you don't believe in him he still loves you so if you no ones loves you think about Jesus that loves you forever.

Jesus will never leave me.

by Hydedas February 5, 2022

Jesus

My lord and savior.

"Jesus is my lord and savior"
"Mine too bro, thanks be to god"
"Amen"

by poopsock. March 31, 2022