table matress

A matress for a table that sits on two ends with one part sticking out of te side

Get yo' dang table matress off of Cletus!

by bubblesofmassdestruction February 3, 2005

Mattress

1. To rest or sleep. rest sleep

2. To preform a sexual act on another, typically in a bed. fuck bang do it

1. "Man, I'm so tired! I'm gonna go home and mattress."

2."Hey gurl, wanna go back to my place and mattress?"

by Mich3al September 23, 2016

mattress ride

when your sister bounces your mattress up and down to get you to fall asleep

Belle would you like a mattress ride?

by jbrown92184 February 23, 2009

Mattress Jousting

Yes, it is a game played in college frat parties but has nothing to do with actual jousting. It is the act of two male parteners who are clearly intoxicated partaking in the act of sword fighting (this is where the jousting comes from) with their wangs on a bed (mattress).

It is commonly used as a joke to people who are clearly uninformed about the slang term.

Frat boy: Hey, Jason, do you want to go mattress jousting later on tonight?
Jason: No, I'm not gay
Frat Boy: I am

John's Older Brother: Hey John have you ever gone mattress jousting?
John trying to be cool: Yeah me and steve mattress joust all the time its fun as hell
Steve: I always win
(Arguing over who wins when both are now labeled queers
John's older brother: Wow?

by ogwannabee July 27, 2009

Matress Terror

Fear of one's matress

You might be suffering from matress terror if it tries to eat you during the night.

Be sure to take good care of your matress....or else!

by Crazy Word Bitch September 18, 2009

matressmony

1. Both a physical description of the place of sex and the sound it creates 2. The promise to have and to hold as long as you both shall last

1. Bianca and I are making that matressmony
2. We screw nonstop, we're in total matressmony

by I.P. Knightly February 7, 2015

mattress mommy

Similar to a pillow princess. It makes her lover/baby happy to please his/her mommy with out need for reciprocity. Often with lots of instruction and rewards like with a dom/sub relationship.

I love to make my mattress mommy happy.

by synsmommy March 16, 2015