Wild sex that occurs when two men Tag-team a woman after a long day of contracting work . Both men do so without showering, washing their hands, or taking off their boots .
Mike and Dave got done working on the barn and really gave that cashier from the hardware store the dirty contractor !
by AZMPF July 12, 2017
Get the Dirty Contractor mug.A contract written to protect people from falling into the bottomless hole of simpery. The contract includes ten injunctions. These are as such:
I. Thou shalt not spend money on the object of simpery.
II. Thou shalt not ship the object of simpery with thine self.
III. Thou shalt not lay thine eyes on fanfictions or shippy fanart.
IV. Thou shalt not browse pictures of the object of simpery for more than ten minutes a day.
V. Thou shalt not watch more than thirty minutes of videos of the object of simpery a day.
VI. Thou shalt not gush about the object of simping on thy social media.
VII. Thou shalt not show any emotion towards the object of simping.
VIII. Thou shalt not say cheesy, cringey, corny, or crusty things about the members.
IX. Thou shalt not have more than ten pictures of the object of simpery at a time. Thou shalt also not have a single shirtless or sexy picture of them.
X. Thou shalt not become an egg--smooth-brained, hairless, and lacking of common sense.
Each injunction comes with a respective punishment.
I. Thou shalt not spend money on the object of simpery.
II. Thou shalt not ship the object of simpery with thine self.
III. Thou shalt not lay thine eyes on fanfictions or shippy fanart.
IV. Thou shalt not browse pictures of the object of simpery for more than ten minutes a day.
V. Thou shalt not watch more than thirty minutes of videos of the object of simpery a day.
VI. Thou shalt not gush about the object of simping on thy social media.
VII. Thou shalt not show any emotion towards the object of simping.
VIII. Thou shalt not say cheesy, cringey, corny, or crusty things about the members.
IX. Thou shalt not have more than ten pictures of the object of simpery at a time. Thou shalt also not have a single shirtless or sexy picture of them.
X. Thou shalt not become an egg--smooth-brained, hairless, and lacking of common sense.
Each injunction comes with a respective punishment.
Mike: "Dude, I signed the simp contract yesterday and I've never felt so protected in my life! It's like a form of insurance so I won't fall into the shame of simping ever again."
Jimmy: "It's too late for me, man. I already broke three of the rules and now I'm going to get punished for being a simp."
Jimmy: "It's too late for me, man. I already broke three of the rules and now I'm going to get punished for being a simp."
by eyelidlash July 20, 2021
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This is a cold weather problem. Everything contracts when it gets cold, including the bladder.
Ever notice that the urge to take a piss dramatically increases when you step out into the cold?
Ever notice that the urge to take a piss dramatically increases when you step out into the cold?
Yeah, I better take a piss before I go leave, it's cold as hell outside, I don't want to have bladder contraction issues.
by Charles_U_Farley March 12, 2011
Get the bladder contraction mug.Guy A: my friend wore contacts to sleep, and they got stuck on the back of her eye and she had surgery to remove them .... yeah
Guy B (deep voice): That's pretty G.
Guy B (deep voice): That's pretty G.
by collin z January 13, 2010
Get the contacts mug.by Lil Duff 2008 June 17, 2008
Get the contacts mug.A legally binding agreement that states that two sexual partners did INDEED have consensual sex. Both parties sign this contract and can be held liable if said contract is violated.
by bigtones July 27, 2004
Get the love contract mug.A guy with no license, insurance , or skills and uses a Minivan as a work truck with ladders tied to the top. Also has a coverted pick-up truck rear end as a trailer.
by Rikki 2 times February 21, 2008
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