i ain't wearin' one 

This is what crime-momkeys tell their sugar mamas about wearing condoms. They can't just screw the white girls, they "has to get them pregnant", too.

"Please put this on, Tyrone. I don't want my parents pushing a cocoa puff in a stroller." "What? I ain't wearin' one!"

i ain't wearin' one by running out of patience May 6, 2008

Asian don't raisin 

Used to describe the youthful appearance of older asians. Often paired with black don't crack, it can also be used in place of a long-winded explaination of why the person in question was thought to be younger than they actually were.

Yo, i heard your girl is like 45 years old! Sup wit dat?!

Yup. But man, you know. Asian don't raisin.

True true. I thought she was like 20. Damn.

Asian don't raisin by FredZep April 26, 2019

She Ain't You

"She doesn't compare to you." This is something a guy would say to his girl in the case of his girl being jealous of another girl, he says this to reassure her that no other girl compares to her.

Girl: Who was that girl you were talking to, huh?

Guy: Baby she ain't you, you have nothing to worry about.

She Ain't You by The GodFather's Wife November 10, 2013

I’ve farted and I can’t get up! 

When a person is so old and so powerfully flatulent that it knocks them on their ass and they can’t get up.

This is a most pathetic scenario, I’ve farted and I can’t get up!

I’ve farted and I can’t get up! by Dr Bunnygirl April 30, 2020

I've fallen and I can't get up 

A really annoying catchphrase from the late 80's/early 90's that originated from a commercial for a paramedical emergency radio for the elderly. During the commercial, and old lady falls off her walker and in the most pathetic tone of voice possible, utters this phrase into the advertised device.

Before everyone and their mom was screaming "I'm Rick James, bitch" they were screaming "I've fallen and I can't get up" in a sad attempt to be funny and witty.

I've fallen and I can't get up by Dassh September 8, 2004

That ain't too far off

This statement is designed to replace "That's what's up." It means, basically, "That's cool." or "Wow, impressive!"

Waiter: Here's a free bowl of ice cream to make up for the stale french fries.

Customer: That ain't too far off.

That ain't too far off by dick vendor September 26, 2008

I ain't no bitch! 

Utterly useless, insult used in a fight.

Joseph Tinnelly used it to argue with Gordon Ramsay in The Hell's Kitchen

Gordon Ramsay: "unbelievable one simple request who and, why and you make a big song and dance"
Joseph Tinnelly: "I ain't no fucking bitch, Chef. I don't give a fuck! I ain't no bitch!"

I ain't no bitch! by bobbysmiles January 12, 2021