shaved monkey sex

a sexual practice involving shaving all body hair below neck, lubing up the whole body, and screwing on a waterbed without sheets.

we were having shaved monkey sex last night when he bed sprung a leak.

shaved monkey sex by minghi May 17, 2003

porch monkey 

a derogatory way of describing an person of African decent

hey porch monkey--you got the money you owe me for the crack rock I sold you?

porch monkey by charlie December 9, 2003

Slapping the monkey 

British slang for masturbation

John- *fap fap fap*
Bill- hey... what are you doing
John- Not slapping the monkey if thats what you think

Slapping the monkey by Shamingo June 18, 2011

Lemme pull up to your bumper and smack that monkey 

In, nonebonical terms, i would like to make love to you.

Damn, bitch u stupid fly, lemme pull up to your bumper and smack that monkey.

Lemme pull up to your bumper and smack that monkey by Jeff January 12, 2004

Hand monkey 

A person who just holds a joint and lets it burn, wasting the marijuana, instead of puff-puff-passing like a normal person.

Damn Courtney, either smoke it or pass it. Stop being such a hand monkey; you're wasting the weed.

Hand monkey by D.Train August 22, 2010

wombat monkey 

an unknown creature that only eats popcorn kernel indigenous to the Choccolocco Area. Known by their strange mating call that can be heard for miles.

Zach: Did you hear that?
(wombat monkey): EEEEEoooorrrrkkkkieieieie
Matt: Yup! That's a wombat monkey in heat!

wombat monkey by Lilrandom July 6, 2008

Chumba Monkey 

An idiot, moron, or other stupid person.

He did what?! Jeez that guy is such a chumba monkey.

Chumba Monkey by KorbenDallas August 7, 2008