crusty sideburns

When pieces of feces tangles in your ass hair and all the way down to your inner thigh hair.
Man, while cleaning his ass Dean diagnosed himself with Crusty Sideburns.
by O and A pest from AZ February 06, 2015
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crusty barbie

A "crusty barbie" is when you cum on a barbie doll so much that overtime the barbie is coated in a thick layer of cum so it looks like a caveman in a block of ice
Mate I've cum so much on that barbie doll it's become a crusty barbie
by Dirtyrastaa August 07, 2017
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vanilla crusty

do you see that vanilla crusty over there? She looks like she's from a wendy's.
by cardnumber January 03, 2021
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Crusty Muppet

A sock used by a male for masturbation.
My mom was shocked when she found my Crusty Muppet.
by RobsWorldIRL April 15, 2022
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crusty ear

Someone cumming on your ear and you let it dry out
He came on my ear and I let it dry. Now I have a crusty ear
by A Southall April 07, 2018
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crusty gers

A "Crusty Ger" is a phenomenon known to most as what causes the “sleep” or “eye crusties” you may have around your eyes in the morning. “Sleep” is a type of “rheum”, which is the name for discharge from your nose, mouth or eyes during sleep as a result of a dust buildup and lack of blinking during sleep. More specifically, eye rheum is known as “gound”.

In recent years the reduction of dust particles in the average home due to improved living conditions has reduced the risk of this "sleep" building up around ones eyes.

However, unfortunately this void in eye ejaculation has been replaced by what are known as "Crusty Gers". A man from a small town in Athy, Ireland, known to some as Ger Kelly (most likely an alias for a much older man from the same area), is considered the main culprit for a resurgence in the occurrence of crusty eyes. He is rumoured to enter the homes of friends and strangers alike in an effort to ejaculate in their eyes as they sleep. The events are perhaps a religious, meditative or ritualistic act, but are most likely the blind and reckless actions of a bitter old man with a fetish for deranged crime.

Recent (blurred) sightings of the suspect have been reported in and around the city of Shanghai, China.
"Awh man I can barely open my eyes this morning with all this gunk around them!"

"Youve got a serious case of the crusty gers dude, you'd wanna get onto interpol about the shit! He took out a whole hostel in China last night! The fcker!"
by athy credit union October 30, 2013
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Crusty Snowman

To Ejaculate into a thin glass or tube, freeze over night and then use as a sex toy the next day.
Kate: "Hey can use this ice in my drink?"
Will: "Hell no!! That's my Crusty Snowman for later"
by Dillyboi February 13, 2019
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