Tom-Tom-Longhammer is a slang term that denotes a man who is slightly cross-eyed, with pigeon feet and tall in stature (over 6ft 3in), yet, between his legs hangs an enormous penis, called a Longhammer. The prefix of this compound word originates from the idea that if said person was a Native American, his tribal name would be Tom-Tom. It is not unusual for a Tom-Tom-Longhammer to be exceptionally well endowed--often resembling a deformed cucumber whose nutrient source during gestational timeframes was a synthesized form of growth hormone that is currently banned in most countries except North Korea where it is used for artificial excess growth in vegetable production. This uniquely sized penis is also used a counter weight that swings to and fro, like a pendulum, neutralizing the opposing motion created by the large anatomically incorrect pigeon feet. It has been said that a Tom-Tom-Longhammer is the most loyal person you will ever meet. He is generous and kind, albeit awkward in nearly all social settings due to his enormous wanker. When a Tom-Tom-Longhammer gets angry, he immediately and instinctively takes off all of his cloths and begins to violently masturbate while going completely crosseyed. It is best to maintain a safe distance from a Tom-Tom-Longhammer when he feels threatened.
Damn, bro, look at that big pigeon looking motherfucker, I bet that homie is a fucking Tom-Tom-Longhammer!
by MalibuRecon May 21, 2018
Get the Tom-Tom-Longhammermug. the jesus of myspace; he created a world in which people can become friends, lovers, and then meet up and rape each other.
Oh gosh, I'm so glad Tom made myspace...oh yeah but i do feel bad about Susan.
-What happened?
Didnt you hear? She met up with some kid she met on myspace and then she got raped and killed.
-Oh, but that wont happen to me :)
-What happened?
Didnt you hear? She met up with some kid she met on myspace and then she got raped and killed.
-Oh, but that wont happen to me :)
by GROOZY July 29, 2008
Get the tommug. by PAGIS!!! December 14, 2008
Get the tommug. the act of assembling a team of african american transvestites and attaching each of their wee wee's to a beer bong then collecting the multi colored urine and leaving it to ferment, 39 years later you will have a nice wax candle to feed your grandchildren
by the swedish penis August 11, 2009
Get the swinging tom tommug. by Dan Rad February 24, 2007
Get the tommug. 
