Waffle Merchant

A person who tells you a story about something that never happened and talks literally through their hole. More shite coming out their mouth than their arse in life.

Wow did you hear what Killa Toges said to me the other day about him flying to Australia for a weekend?

A proper waffle merchant !!

by OnDaSauce January 30, 2023

Queef merchant

A seaborn man of trading descent. Commonly found hidden in the women's latrine. Using a queef absorber 4000 to capture the gases he then sells them to unsuspecting passengers through the form of ice cream.

Watch out, that ice cream man might be a queef merchant.

by Mary queen of sluts February 23, 2023

helmet merchant

a being who transcends the definition of being 'a helmet'

Player 1: "Watch this!"
*Player 1 teamkills Player 2*
Player 2: "Proper helmet merchant you mate"

by TeevReqq May 22, 2023

After Tea Merchant

Hen

Lads: hen? Are you coming online?
Hen: after my tea
Lads: hen you’re such an “after tea merchant”

by Geezer62364 January 11, 2021

Penalty merchant

The definition of a penalty merchant is Manchester United

Man United are such penalty merchants

by Jack furey March 2, 2021

Kayak merchant

An un-healthy attraction to kayaks, kayak merchants can often be found in opaque rivers touching themselves inappropriatly in front of other kayakers, also found to be wacking off over kayaks

'Look at that dirty kayak merchant over there, the disgusting chode merchant ginger pheasant raper'

by Price & Sam December 3, 2009

The Merchandise

Any “juicy” parcels of real estate, usually on a female, but can refer to both genders.

Girl, protesting a guy’s trying to feel her up: “Hey! Who said you could sample The Merchandise?!???”

by QuacksO November 26, 2011