January 22 

January 22 Is the Day The Biggest Crackheads On This Planet Were Born. If You Were Born On This Day, You’re Most Likely The Funniest Of All Your Friends. Also Your Name Is Probably Chris.

Friend 1: “hey whens your birthday?”
You: “January 22”
Friend 1&2: “ Man I Totally Want To Be Their Friend”

You: *Wink*

January 22 by Chrispbaconn October 29, 2019

january 24 

if ur born today ur all that matters and the world revolves around you and you only

jack: lit ralley we rilly innit
josh: were u born on january 24
jack: yeah

january 24 by cockdestroyer420 October 18, 2019

january 4th 

badddddd bitchhhhh if this is ur birthday just know that u are a goddesssss and if it isnt u still rock but if u have this birthday u are caring, loving, kind capricorn luv u xoxo

person 1: hey my birthday is january 4th
person 2: oh happy birthday!
person 1: im gunna search it up in urban dictionary
person 2: ahah okay, ill search up mine

january 4th by xoxobritishgirlxoxo October 27, 2019

January 9

Ask your crush on a date!

Today is the day to ask your crush out. Do it, take your shot

Person 1: Wanna you know date maybe? Crush: Sure!
January 9

January 9 by Maria4765 January 8, 2020

January 13 

National shlong day. If you were born on this day than you for sure have a monster penis, a gigantic gourd, or a big bertha downstairs.

Wow, you were born on January 13! You totally have a shlong.

January 13 by Jacob Sheridan October 23, 2019

January 1 

Well it’s New Years! Time to get a good start. Be yourself 90% for the whole day! Be open (INCLUDING YOU QUIET PEOPLE)

Friend: why is she acting so cute and clumsy today?
Friend 2: well it’s January 1st....

January 1 by Bobbie :) December 17, 2019

January 27 

National punch a guy in the penis day

Is it January 27? Oh it’s national punch a guy in the penis day!

January 27 by Lololol banana October 18, 2019