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cold read

The act of fishing for information, either from a gullible paying customer or from an audience who have just been told to be "open-minded", in which any positive feedback is followed deftly as though coming in "on the astral".
Cold reading:

Hello, I'm getting something ... there is someone who has recently died ... yes, someone has, hasn't they? ... a man, no I didn't think so, either, a woman then, an old woman ... no, dreadful isn't it? ... I'm thinking cancer, no?... a car crash ... yes, and it was tragic, and she was before her time too, would I be correct in saying this? ...
by Fearman March 11, 2008
mugGet the cold readmug.

selective reading

When you have no intention of reading someone's bullshit. So you scan read and only pick out what is relevant to you.
JamsBeam: "I'm going to write a name with my right hand and I'll eat a chip with my left hand"
Me:"are you having a Ketos session Bro?"
JamsBeam:"How does your mind completely erase the word write and replace it with masturbating?"
Me:"it's called selective reading"
by GbAbE September 9, 2018
mugGet the selective readingmug.

Chopper Read

A true Australian icon and legend. An author, stand over man and intellectual. Cut his own ears off while in prison. A yuppies worst nightmare. Eric Banna portrayed him in the film "Chopper".
"Get them ears off."
"They had to re-stitch his anal webbing."
"Keithy seems to have done himself a mischief."
Chopper Read, Australia salutes you!
by Superbowl Xv April 9, 2018
mugGet the Chopper Readmug.

Drew Read

Drew Read is a very sweet and wonderful guy. He's cute charming and an absolite fucking idiot. He lacks common sense and is very creepy. He stalks girls and follows them to their house. After they get inside he waits until night and sneaks into a tree. He takes out his binoculars and watches them shower. He particularly likes girls with red hair.
"I saw someone follow me home last night!"
"Oh, that was definetly Drew Read."
by DogPoopWeiner December 1, 2021
mugGet the Drew Readmug.

Nip Reading

An incredibly obvious thing every person (man or woman) does when they see a girl with particularly prominent boobs. Staring incredibly intently like they're trying read a book without opening the cover.
These motherfuckin pervs are always nip reading, "my eyes are up here"
by Mary Tyler Moore December 12, 2016
mugGet the Nip Readingmug.

Half Read

When someone only read something halfway. It's especially annoying during texting, leading to much confusion and miscommunication. Those jaded by this resort to phone calls for all major planning. This may result in a conflict with introverts who hate phone calls, and usually will not answer the phone, preferring to respond with a text. Thus a viscous cycle is born.
Bro #1: "Bro, where are you at?"
Bro #2: "At home chillin. What's up?"
Bro #1: "You're supposed to be picking me up for the game!"
Bro #2: *rereads texts* Damn, my bad bruh. I only half read."
by Yeti remains March 10, 2022
mugGet the Half Readmug.

shit and read

Watching or scrolling through your phone while dropping a load
I took the longest shit and read this morning . I now have a toilet seat imprent on my ass!
by Try It June 14, 2015
mugGet the shit and readmug.

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