cold read

The act of fishing for information, either from a gullible paying customer or from an audience who have just been told to be "open-minded", in which any positive feedback is followed deftly as though coming in "on the astral".

Cold reading:

Hello, I'm getting something ... there is someone who has recently died ... yes, someone has, hasn't they? ... a man, no I didn't think so, either, a woman then, an old woman ... no, dreadful isn't it? ... I'm thinking cancer, no?... a car crash ... yes, and it was tragic, and she was before her time too, would I be correct in saying this? ...

by Fearman March 11, 2008

selective reading

When you have no intention of reading someone's bullshit. So you scan read and only pick out what is relevant to you.

JamsBeam: "I'm going to write a name with my right hand and I'll eat a chip with my left hand"
Me:"are you having a Ketos session Bro?"
JamsBeam:"How does your mind completely erase the word write and replace it with masturbating?"
Me:"it's called selective reading"

by GbAbE September 9, 2018

Drew Read

Drew Read is a very sweet and wonderful guy. He's cute charming and an absolite fucking idiot. He lacks common sense and is very creepy. He stalks girls and follows them to their house. After they get inside he waits until night and sneaks into a tree. He takes out his binoculars and watches them shower. He particularly likes girls with red hair.

"I saw someone follow me home last night!"
"Oh, that was definetly Drew Read."

by DogPoopWeiner December 1, 2021

Read the zoom

Like reading the room but in COVID

‘You can’t say that. I wish he’d just read the Zoom‘

by Bangus Khan October 16, 2020

Nip Reading

An incredibly obvious thing every person (man or woman) does when they see a girl with particularly prominent boobs. Staring incredibly intently like they're trying read a book without opening the cover.

These motherfuckin pervs are always nip reading, "my eyes are up here"

by Mary Tyler Moore December 12, 2016

shit and read

Watching or scrolling through your phone while dropping a load

I took the longest shit and read this morning . I now have a toilet seat imprent on my ass!

by Try It June 14, 2015

read/edit

In writing, or especially in typing, when you read over something you've already written and make modifications as you go. For example, you read "happy, joyful, optimistic" and change it to "happy, joyful, and optimistic." Read/editing is usually done in a casual situation, like a Facebook message to a friend, but can also apply to more serious situations, like your college application.

Martha was nervous about the message her text would send, so she spent a minute read/editing it.

by Lieutenant Commander DATA September 24, 2011