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cold read

The act of fishing for information, either from a gullible paying customer or from an audience who have just been told to be "open-minded", in which any positive feedback is followed deftly as though coming in "on the astral".
Cold reading:

Hello, I'm getting something ... there is someone who has recently died ... yes, someone has, hasn't they? ... a man, no I didn't think so, either, a woman then, an old woman ... no, dreadful isn't it? ... I'm thinking cancer, no?... a car crash ... yes, and it was tragic, and she was before her time too, would I be correct in saying this? ...
by Fearman March 11, 2008
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selective reading

When you have no intention of reading someone's bullshit. So you scan read and only pick out what is relevant to you.
JamsBeam: "I'm going to write a name with my right hand and I'll eat a chip with my left hand"
Me:"are you having a Ketos session Bro?"
JamsBeam:"How does your mind completely erase the word write and replace it with masturbating?"
Me:"it's called selective reading"
by GbAbE September 9, 2018
mugGet the selective readingmug.

Half Read

When someone only read something halfway. It's especially annoying during texting, leading to much confusion and miscommunication. Those jaded by this resort to phone calls for all major planning. This may result in a conflict with introverts who hate phone calls, and usually will not answer the phone, preferring to respond with a text. Thus a viscous cycle is born.
Bro #1: "Bro, where are you at?"
Bro #2: "At home chillin. What's up?"
Bro #1: "You're supposed to be picking me up for the game!"
Bro #2: *rereads texts* Damn, my bad bruh. I only half read."
by Yeti remains March 10, 2022
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shit and read

Watching or scrolling through your phone while dropping a load
I took the longest shit and read this morning . I now have a toilet seat imprent on my ass!
by Try It June 14, 2015
mugGet the shit and readmug.

accordion reading

Online reading phenomenon in which a person begins with a list of links to articles/blog entries from an RSS feed (such as Google Reader), and opens several as new browser tabs.

While reading through the tabs one by one, reducing their number, the person finds links to other articles/blog entries, which will be duly opened as additional tabs.

The result is that the number of tabs on the browser continually expands and contracts, accordion-style, and before you know it you've wasted half the day reading an endlessly regenerating stream of linked internet nonsense.
Guy 1: Dude, where have you been?
Guy 2: Sorry, got caught up in some accordion reading online - couldn't stop adding more and more new tabs of stuff to read. What, is it time for Church?
Guy 1: Um, it's actually Monday now.
by Peter Lorre February 4, 2010
mugGet the accordion readingmug.

Chopper Read

A true Australian icon and legend. An author, stand over man and intellectual. Cut his own ears off while in prison. A yuppies worst nightmare. Eric Banna portrayed him in the film "Chopper".
"Get them ears off."
"They had to re-stitch his anal webbing."
"Keithy seems to have done himself a mischief."
Chopper Read, Australia salutes you!
by Superbowl Xv April 9, 2018
mugGet the Chopper Readmug.

Reading Eggs

A learning service from Australia primarily used in primary school. (3 - 6)
Teacher: Ok, class, today we'll be doing Reading Eggs!
by QFRSSaddle August 26, 2021
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