if-else merchant

A joking or mildly insulting way to describe a programmer who relies heavily on long chains of if / else statements instead of using better programming structures.

This codebase was clearly written by an if-else merchant — it’s just nested conditionals all the way down.

by ŠibucaNiggi November 5, 2025

Conclusion merchant

Negative term for a character (usually fictional) in which the only compelling part of their storyline is its conclusion. Popularized by the great minds hard at work in mediatok.

Guy 1 (awesome, full of life and vigor): Lelouche has W themes and philosophies but he's lowkey a conclusion merchant.
Guy 2 (moron narcissist, possibly evil too): Trying to categorize everything you enjoy like this is reductive and stupid.

by bippitybopman23 August 13, 2025

The Skull Merchant Treatment

The catastrophic art of obliterating something so thoroughly-so viciously-that not even the memory of it’s former shape survives

“Y’all see what they did to concord”
“Yeah that game straight got The Skull Merchant Treatment”

by Calcium Stool June 7, 2025

Griddy Merchant

Someone who plays the fifa video game nearly every day and uses the Griddy emote after every goal scored. They do this so that the opponent rage quits or breaks a controller.

Man these fucking Griddy merchants! They must get zero pussy. I can just smell the stench through the mic.

by Dj Ivis Lover June 16, 2023

Gravy Merchant

A peddler of nonsense

"Pfft, Percy Shelley. What a gravy merchant".

by wordsinabox December 10, 2010

Bunda Merchant

One who commonly peruses women with large abdominal prowess(big ass).

Alexis is lokey a bunda merchant. I see him get excited when the Latinas walk by.

by Dj Ivis Lover June 16, 2023

mullet merchant

An extremely irritating breed of people (specifically teenage males) whom adopt a mullet. Other than this obvious physical characteristic, they are identifiable by behaviours such as crowding around the PureGym bench for hours and attending private school.

Jason: “How come you were at the gym for so long?”
Diego: “ Oh a group of fucking mullet merchant ls where using the benches.”
Jason: “Oh, I fucking hate them mullet merchants”

by Arbitratingurbtch March 7, 2024