n. (v. Verbally masturbating)
Describes a person using (or trying but fails) extremely flamboyant, overelaborate, pendantic, overembellished, pompus, language seasoned with a lot of jargon from a certain discipline, sometimes to the extent that it has to be translated or deciphered to be intelligible for the common man; done with the unnecessary need to be meticulously accurate when communicating completely mundane things. May be done with the intent of making others feel inferior…and/or himself superior, part of role-playing, humour, being an idiot, (trying to) showing off how smart you are, and as mentioned an unnecessary need to be meticulously accurate. The true verbal masturbators are the pretentious ones who try but utterly fail because they use words they do not understand and use words across a jargon (inconsistency). Verbal masturbation may or may not appear redundant; however the redundancy is from the choice of words used and not necessarily by its meaning. Additionally, some may feel others are verbally masturbating but do so wrongfully because the situation requires being meticulously accurate
Non exhaustive examples of jargon used are:
Scientific: (star trek, professor Frink from The Simpson’s),
Forensic: (CSI, Sherlock Holmes),
Arcane: (old language, medieval, lord of the rings, star wars),
Prose/poetic: (rhymes, poetic symbolic uses etc. of language usually belonging to the literature world)
dictionary: (sounding like one…)
Leet (1337): sounding like a nerd/geek
Describes a person using (or trying but fails) extremely flamboyant, overelaborate, pendantic, overembellished, pompus, language seasoned with a lot of jargon from a certain discipline, sometimes to the extent that it has to be translated or deciphered to be intelligible for the common man; done with the unnecessary need to be meticulously accurate when communicating completely mundane things. May be done with the intent of making others feel inferior…and/or himself superior, part of role-playing, humour, being an idiot, (trying to) showing off how smart you are, and as mentioned an unnecessary need to be meticulously accurate. The true verbal masturbators are the pretentious ones who try but utterly fail because they use words they do not understand and use words across a jargon (inconsistency). Verbal masturbation may or may not appear redundant; however the redundancy is from the choice of words used and not necessarily by its meaning. Additionally, some may feel others are verbally masturbating but do so wrongfully because the situation requires being meticulously accurate
Non exhaustive examples of jargon used are:
Scientific: (star trek, professor Frink from The Simpson’s),
Forensic: (CSI, Sherlock Holmes),
Arcane: (old language, medieval, lord of the rings, star wars),
Prose/poetic: (rhymes, poetic symbolic uses etc. of language usually belonging to the literature world)
dictionary: (sounding like one…)
Leet (1337): sounding like a nerd/geek
girl: romeo and juliet was so romantic and such a deep movie
guy: romeo & juliet with leo dicaprio is one big verbal masturbation from start to end. the rhyming is done with so much intensity and pompousness its embarrasing to watch.
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Data: "If you are referring to sexuality, I am... fully functional, programmed in... multiple techniques."
Borg Queen: "How long since you've used them?"
Data: "Eight years, seven months, sixteen days, four minutes, twenty-two seconds..."
(data is verbally masturbating, as he always has)
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John cleese: He's not pinin'! he's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! he's expired and gone to meet his maker! he's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! his metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! he's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!! (an excellent example of verbal masturbation used in humour)
guy: romeo & juliet with leo dicaprio is one big verbal masturbation from start to end. the rhyming is done with so much intensity and pompousness its embarrasing to watch.
------
Data: "If you are referring to sexuality, I am... fully functional, programmed in... multiple techniques."
Borg Queen: "How long since you've used them?"
Data: "Eight years, seven months, sixteen days, four minutes, twenty-two seconds..."
(data is verbally masturbating, as he always has)
-----
John cleese: He's not pinin'! he's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! he's expired and gone to meet his maker! he's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! his metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! he's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!! (an excellent example of verbal masturbation used in humour)
by broccolee July 30, 2008
Get the Verbal masturbation mug.Can be a group of all girls, all guys, a mix, whatever. When a group of people get together and one person starts masturbating, and one by one, everyone starts to join in and masturbated until everyone gets off, or the last one to get off just can't do it.
I went to a masturbation party with a bunch of girls, it was crazy. So much moaning and rubbing, and fingering, tits galore. Amazing. It was like Heaven.
by Dave Halliday July 12, 2005
Get the masturbation party mug.Masturbating is the act of self sexual satisfaction. Hands are useful yet sex toys can help.
99% of people do it at some time of their life. Most do it all through life.
The remaining 1% are the people who are so stubborn and pig headed, they never do the same as the rest of us.
While the majority of us are doing it, it is fascinating to find that most people wont discuss such things. If you do ask, only about 10% will even admit they have ever masturbated at all.
Very similar response to the number of people who are willing to confirm having a same sex experience. While most people do try it at some time in their life, few are willing to admit to it.
Back at the self satisfaction experiences.
Because teenage boys are so hung up on establishing and proving their manhood, not just to their mates but just as much to themself, masturbating is the one subject that is guaranteed to send them running if raised in a group. None are willing to admit his own hand was his first love.
If your ever at a party and want a laugh try this quick quiz.
Speaking to any group of teenage guys say.
I was reading last week that scientist have identified the chemical reason why masturbating give guys those small warts in the palm of their hand.
Then sit back and watch as they all try to discreetly examine their own hand despite the fact that when asked before hand almost all denied every doing it.
The reason this works on teenage boys so successfully is due to the absence of any brain power. At age 14 their brains fell trough their open mouth and then left the area all together. The brain will remain absent until they reach 21 years of age.
Masturbating supports industry.
If not for masturbating, adult magazines and adult videos and sex shops would be doing it hard. And then there is the WWW. Sex or more correctly the desire of mostly men to keep things in hand while they are see things. That hand action meant going on line was the best place to get what ever you liked.
99% of people do it at some time of their life. Most do it all through life.
The remaining 1% are the people who are so stubborn and pig headed, they never do the same as the rest of us.
While the majority of us are doing it, it is fascinating to find that most people wont discuss such things. If you do ask, only about 10% will even admit they have ever masturbated at all.
Very similar response to the number of people who are willing to confirm having a same sex experience. While most people do try it at some time in their life, few are willing to admit to it.
Back at the self satisfaction experiences.
Because teenage boys are so hung up on establishing and proving their manhood, not just to their mates but just as much to themself, masturbating is the one subject that is guaranteed to send them running if raised in a group. None are willing to admit his own hand was his first love.
If your ever at a party and want a laugh try this quick quiz.
Speaking to any group of teenage guys say.
I was reading last week that scientist have identified the chemical reason why masturbating give guys those small warts in the palm of their hand.
Then sit back and watch as they all try to discreetly examine their own hand despite the fact that when asked before hand almost all denied every doing it.
The reason this works on teenage boys so successfully is due to the absence of any brain power. At age 14 their brains fell trough their open mouth and then left the area all together. The brain will remain absent until they reach 21 years of age.
Masturbating supports industry.
If not for masturbating, adult magazines and adult videos and sex shops would be doing it hard. And then there is the WWW. Sex or more correctly the desire of mostly men to keep things in hand while they are see things. That hand action meant going on line was the best place to get what ever you liked.
The phone rings but he has no time to answer. His hands are already full. Thank god for Masturbating, she wont do it, he says to him self. Later that day his girlfriend ask. Have you been with someone else? NO, just myself, he protests.
by Wazo January 17, 2008
Get the Masturbating mug.Intellectual activity that serves no practical purpose. Excessively theoretical, and therefore a distraction from more practicable matters.
Dr. Richard Dawkins, noted biological theorist, in response to a student's philosophical question about skeptical attitudes towards science and reality, cited the following anecdote:
<paraphrasing>
James Boswell asked, "... nothing really exists unless there's somebody there to see it. How do you refute that?" Samuel Johnson replied, "I refute it thus!", and kicked a stone out of his way.
<\paraphrasing>
Dr. Dawkins, commenting on Boswell's question, and critiquing the attitude: "If you want to mess about with that sort of mental masturbation, thats fine, but, ... but the science of reality is what gets you through the day, ... and makes things work!"
<paraphrasing>
James Boswell asked, "... nothing really exists unless there's somebody there to see it. How do you refute that?" Samuel Johnson replied, "I refute it thus!", and kicked a stone out of his way.
<\paraphrasing>
Dr. Dawkins, commenting on Boswell's question, and critiquing the attitude: "If you want to mess about with that sort of mental masturbation, thats fine, but, ... but the science of reality is what gets you through the day, ... and makes things work!"
by The Practical Atheist December 12, 2009
Get the Mental Masturbation mug."Let me tell you something about Sarah Palin, man, she's good masturbation material. The glasses and all of that, great masturbation material" (said comedian Tracy Morgan, January 27, 2011, during "Inside the NBA" on TNT before the Heat-Knicks game).
by masturbationmaterial.com February 20, 2011
Get the masturbation material mug.A way for men or women to deal with problems without getting up. terms for men include: jerk off, rub one out, beat off, wack ones turkey, and shoot clue goo. In a womens case it could be Fingering and flicking the bean around or use a dildo.
How to use masturbation in a conversation.
For a man, "hey steve, wanna play some B-Ball?"
"Nah im kinda tired, im gonna go home, put on the Tv, rub one out and take a nap.
women do not usually discuss this subject but if they did it would go a little something like this.
"hey jacky, want to go to the mall?"
"I think im going to go back to the car and flick my bean around."
Or
"Im going to go home and check my myspace and punch my cat"
For a man, "hey steve, wanna play some B-Ball?"
"Nah im kinda tired, im gonna go home, put on the Tv, rub one out and take a nap.
women do not usually discuss this subject but if they did it would go a little something like this.
"hey jacky, want to go to the mall?"
"I think im going to go back to the car and flick my bean around."
Or
"Im going to go home and check my myspace and punch my cat"
by Bobsaget,dannytanner January 9, 2009
Get the masturbation mug.by Dave May 14, 2003
Get the masturbathon mug.