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cold read

The act of fishing for information, either from a gullible paying customer or from an audience who have just been told to be "open-minded", in which any positive feedback is followed deftly as though coming in "on the astral".
Cold reading:

Hello, I'm getting something ... there is someone who has recently died ... yes, someone has, hasn't they? ... a man, no I didn't think so, either, a woman then, an old woman ... no, dreadful isn't it? ... I'm thinking cancer, no?... a car crash ... yes, and it was tragic, and she was before her time too, would I be correct in saying this? ...
by Fearman March 11, 2008
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selective reading

When you have no intention of reading someone's bullshit. So you scan read and only pick out what is relevant to you.
JamsBeam: "I'm going to write a name with my right hand and I'll eat a chip with my left hand"
Me:"are you having a Ketos session Bro?"
JamsBeam:"How does your mind completely erase the word write and replace it with masturbating?"
Me:"it's called selective reading"
by GbAbE September 9, 2018
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Fart Reading

Commonly used online when someone claims to be a fast reader though they often misread or misunderstanding texts, failing to even see their own misspelling. First became common lingo on 4 chan /pol/.
Anon 1: You misread and turn things into something completely different
Anon 2: I just read fast, nothing wrong with fart reading.
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Brayden read

Very gay and gets hard near men
Brayden read likes guys and watching porn
by Thick bittys 101 May 6, 2019
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accordion reading

Online reading phenomenon in which a person begins with a list of links to articles/blog entries from an RSS feed (such as Google Reader), and opens several as new browser tabs.

While reading through the tabs one by one, reducing their number, the person finds links to other articles/blog entries, which will be duly opened as additional tabs.

The result is that the number of tabs on the browser continually expands and contracts, accordion-style, and before you know it you've wasted half the day reading an endlessly regenerating stream of linked internet nonsense.
Guy 1: Dude, where have you been?
Guy 2: Sorry, got caught up in some accordion reading online - couldn't stop adding more and more new tabs of stuff to read. What, is it time for Church?
Guy 1: Um, it's actually Monday now.
by Peter Lorre February 4, 2010
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Nip Reading

An incredibly obvious thing every person (man or woman) does when they see a girl with particularly prominent boobs. Staring incredibly intently like they're trying read a book without opening the cover.
These motherfuckin pervs are always nip reading, "my eyes are up here"
by Mary Tyler Moore December 12, 2016
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Drew Read

Drew Read is a very sweet and wonderful guy. He's cute charming and an absolite fucking idiot. He lacks common sense and is very creepy. He stalks girls and follows them to their house. After they get inside he waits until night and sneaks into a tree. He takes out his binoculars and watches them shower. He particularly likes girls with red hair.
"I saw someone follow me home last night!"
"Oh, that was definetly Drew Read."
by DogPoopWeiner December 1, 2021
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