International Boner Scale

Standard universal tool used to rate the respective flaccidity or turgidness of a male's genitals in any situation worth officially documenting:

1 Completely Flaccid
2 Stirring of the Loins
3 Beginning to Lift
4 Fun, Yet Floppy
5 Nursing the Perfect Semi
6 Veins & Details Appear
7 Hot to Touch
8 Rebounds to Hit the Stomach
9 Moves of its Own Accord*
10 Permanent Erection**
---------------------------------
*Must be able to perform one complete cock push-up.
**Only achievable through Viagra/Cocaine - requires surgical removal.

In England:

Josh: "Jesus man, does Max have a boner??"
Ross: "Aye, about a 6 on the International Boner Scale, no doubt"
Josh: "Yeah, I'd agree with that"

En France:

Jacques: "Zut alors! Max, a-t-il la trique??!"
Sébastien: "Ouais... Un six selon l'échelle internationale des érections"
Jacques: "Ben je suis d'accord..."

by shanghaiunderground September 10, 2009

pop a boner

The phenomenon that takes place when a sexually aroused male experiences a sudden or gradual rush of blood to the penis causing it to stand stiff and harden, often occuring unexpectedly in a public setting.

I always pop a boner every time I see your mom bend over

I popped a boner in Miss Goodbody's math class just before she asked me to solve a problem on the board

by streetsouljah November 2, 2009

boner dethroner

Someone or something that can get rid of a sexual feeling.

Thinking about baseball is a boner dethroner.

His/Her unibrow is a boner dethroner

by Danny Revolting August 20, 2006

bruce boner

A bruce boner is an erection with such colossal force and magnitude that, like Bruce Banner when he becomes the Incredible Hulk, it rips straight through the owner's pants.

Zeus: Hey, why is there a huge whole in your pants?
Ares: I saw Aphrodite last night and popped a huge bruce boner.

by MC Spartan-117 July 7, 2008

hash-slinging boner

a whore working at the krusty PUSSY, chopped off his cock and replaced it with a rusty DILDO

the hash-slinging boner used to be a WHORE just like you

by asdfmotherfuckingamzee August 8, 2014

Boner Achieved

Something you say when a girl does something sexy that gives you a boner. You usually say it in front of her face but at a volume she can't here you.

Girl: Tonight I'm going to get Tipsy, you should join me in my bed.

Boy: Boner Achieved. :)

Girl: What?

Boy: Uhhh nothing!

by sWaG WeAr April 26, 2010

belt boner

Terminology used to describe the state of a boner having been re-adjusted to be concealed underneath the belt. Essential for walking out of class without pole-vaulting yourself into the hallway. Also known as a "stealth boner".

daaamnnn, I thought I had my belt boner in place when I went to give the presentation, but after a few minutes everyone started throwing spitballs at my crotch for some reason and then I came in my pants and everyone hated me

by NMC December 15, 2004