That surprises me

A phrase borrowed from the movie "Dinner for Schmucks". It is used in a sarcastic, mocking manner after asking someone a ridiculous question.
Dude: Have you ever lived among Alaskans and ate bear meat in their traditional manner?

Dudette: No!

Dude: That surprises me...
by joesk84ever December 23, 2011
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Tijuana Surprise

The accidental release of a small amount of diarrhea when farting.
I just got a Tijuana surprise. I should have avoided the taco stand last night.
by 1AnalWart October 10, 2015
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car surprise

The synergy between a driver and their vehicle when an unnoticed object suddenly appears in their path, leading to a quick slam of the brakes and "oh shit!" expression of the driver. The vehicle itself jerks back suddenly, as if the object has startled it.

Usually occurs while making one's way around corners or in parking garages.
What a dip....Mike's been drinking all day and now he's trying to parallel park. Every time he starts to back up and looks in his rearview, he gets car surprise.
by LuckyPucker April 03, 2009
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cinnamon surprise

The act of shoving a load of cinnimon up your ass hole and then farting it out. Puff!
My husband was making pancakes so I decided to give him a cinnamon surprise
by Captain sea biscuit August 03, 2017
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Spooky surprise

When ur jacking off in a closet and as ur step sister passes ur scare her and nut on her.
Guy: dude your stepsisters hot

You: yeah I gave her a spooky surprise
by Pecan God August 09, 2016
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skittle surprise

The act of inserting skittles into one's urethra so that when they ejaculate during oral their sexual partner "tastes the rainbow."
Jimmy eagerly inserted each color flavor of the tropical skittles pack (the tropical thunder variation) inside his dick hole as Elsa waited in the other room awaiting the surprise promised to her the entire 7hour flight to Hawaii. The door flung open from the bathroom into the master sweet, Jimmy's dick half mast and lumpy from the inside out Drizzling pinkish precum elsa takes his now hard yet still lumpy skittles filled cock into her mouth, the best tasting cock she'd ever had. Jimmy lasts a mear 2minutes before ejecting each and every last of the skittles into the back of Elsa's throat as Jimmy loudly moans "Skittle surprise"
by Pjkblue April 04, 2023
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surprise taxes

Traffic violations.
Surprise taxes are the worst kind of tax, as they have an official bribery structure where you can pay an attorney to pay the local district attorney. Also, if you don't use the official bribery structure your insurance increases, which is arguably better than dealing with the IRS with normal taxes.
I budget about $200 a year for surprise taxes. This morning I had to pay out some. Enforcement has gone up since the red light camera surprise tax revenue dried up after being ruled unconstitutional.
by skeletor_is_not_me June 27, 2014
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