skid safety officer

To piss on and clear away another mans skids in the pan after a good poo.

'I'm a skid safety officer sir, I'll clean that'

'Wow that's a mess, better do my duty as a skid safety officer and hose that down'

by BAZLEYSMASH December 4, 2015

business development officer

Some asshole in a suit who thinks hes classy, but in reality, its the biggest dick known to mankind. They try to fool you with their smart title, because they dont want it revealed that they are low rent scum, much like used car salesmen and Bobblett Brothers Trucking out of Lexington Kentucky.

That guys card said he was a business development officer, but I think hes a real fuckin dick.

by STFUnGFY March 7, 2016

please come to the office

If anyone ever says this to you, there's a HUGE change you've gotten in trouble, that someone's snitched, or that you're going to be questioned for something that took place. Or, maybe it's a social media post you made, or they found a nude pic. It's almost never good news to be in their office.

"X, if you are in the building, please come to the office. X, please come to the office."

by SKRealTime January 12, 2019

Bad day at the office

Not necessarily how its seems. I personally use it as a description of not a good result, day, outcome whatever.

"Bad day at the office?" reply " yeah something like that"

Or " How are you?" Response "... bad day at the office"

by Moscow Woman July 1, 2020

office cow

Obese, resilient, lethargic, and often self-righteous women who work in an office environment that make daily life annoying for all they encounter. Office cows are generally very chatty and love to gossip with fellow bovine. They are commonly found in workplaces with cubicles, or long counters with multiple serving lines such as the DMV. No matter what one's goal is when trying to resolve an issue with an office cow, the insolent heifer will obfuscate things to the point of insanity.

The receptionist in the movie "Office Space" who repeatedly answers the phone saying "Corporate accounts this is Lanina speaking... just a moment" is a PRIME example of an office cow. So are the despicable gluttons found at the DMV who always contest your knowledge despite how thoroughly you've researched any given material simply because they've spent half their miserable lives behind that counter and, I quote "have been doing this since before you were born"... And you still can't get it right you ignorant slob!!!!

by dreamsindigital October 21, 2010

Office workers

With the evolution of modern medicine, an office worker will live to around 85 years old. These zombie like humans, infected with the parasite of indoctrination, are compliant and conditioned to both obey and seek validation from the one source; Absolute authority.

Roger: "Want to jump off the bridge at high tide tonight?"
Tim: "Wow. I can't I have to be in the office by 7 am tommorow. "
Roger: "You wanker!"
Tim: "We all have to grow up someday."
Roger: "Piece of shit, office workers always say that."

by SalonStyleResultz September 13, 2017

office chimp

The fat stupid guy at work that sucks up to the boss, spouts simplistic platitudes, and thinks he is more experienced because he has worked there 20 years but you always seem to be fixing his fuck ups.

The office chimp at work came over to help me. I just wanted him to get away from me because he annoys me and he fucks things up all the time.
"There's no 'I' in team, that's what I always say." The office chimp stated.
Just to be a dick to him and hopefully drive him away, I brought up Maureen's promotion that he was hoping to get.
"It's okay, good things come to those who wait. I will get it next time." The office chimp replied.
Jesus fucking Christ, I thought to myself. Would you just go the fuck away.
Our boss walked by, and the office chimp stopped what he was doing and fucked up the order of my documents in the process.
"How are you doing today Frank?" the office chimp said overly cheerful.
Frank answered, "Good, glad to see you helping out over here."
"Got to teach these young guys, I have been here 20 years and they can learn a lot from me. Of course the people are our most important asset too! We wouldn't be anywhere without them and we need to step in and show we appreciate them." the fucking moron office chimp said.

by Nutzen YerMouf May 9, 2018