grandfather paradox

The grandfather paradox is a paradox of time travel in which inconsistencies emerge through changing the past.

Everyone: What is Grandfather Paradox?

Me: Something like you go back in time and kill your grandfather so that you won’t exist in time.

by anonymous December 16, 2020

Coffee Paradox

When you haven't had any coffee so you don't have the cognitive ability to make coffee.

Person 1, "Dude why is Person 2 standing there drooling in front of the coffee machine?"

Person 3, "They're suffering from the coffee paradox."
Person 2, *drools*

by YouLikeTheWayIPostitRex March 6, 2019

chatters paradox

Refrencing the situation when two or more people are chatting in an instant messaging application, when both parties begin writing a message at around the same time, and both parties stop writing to allow the other to go first.
This leaves a semi-awkward situation known as the chatters paradox.

you: hi
them: hi
them...is writing a message
you...are writing a message

you: hi
them: hi
*2.5 minute silence*
you: chatters paradox?
them: haha yeah :-P

by theelous3 November 9, 2011

Pinocchio Paradox

When Pinocchio says "My nose grows now!" And his nose will basically malfunction.

Pinocchio: My nose grows now!
Nose: I have no fucking idea what to do
(Fucking Pinocchio Paradox)

by Ariel Aries May 19, 2021

The Threeway Paradox

When three men have sexual intercourse but it is not considered a homosexual act because of the golden rule. "It's not gay when its a threeway."

Cody: Michael, Brad, and I fucked all night!
Brandon: I thought you were straight?
Cody: Dude, I am! It's the threeway paradox.
Brandon: Oh, yeah. You right.

by W31R40 August 25, 2018

Austin Paradox

The scenario of a man having an option between suitors, although not knowing whether the suitors have interest in the man in question, although suspected. Usually consists of four options: choose one, choose the other, wait it out, or start over with a new, unrelated suitor. The scenario usually ends badly for the man in said paradox, and the man is haunted with the thought of what could have been had he chosen another option.

“Yeah, my friend is caught in an Austin Paradox. He’s having a mental breakdown trying to figure out what he should do. I pity him.”

by Helixgamingco August 19, 2021

James Paradox

When one is winning in life more than anyone else around them, but at the same time is losing in life harder than anyone has ever lost before

Adam: So you pulled 4 girls at the same time!? You are winning bro
James: yeah bro but the only girl I want I can’t ever have
Adam: bro you’re losing so hard right now - I think you’re suffering from the James Paradox

by Ihavehugetestes April 24, 2022