humping the stat monkey

A business practice or action solely done for the purpose of appearances statistically and appeasing management.

Categorizing completely unstarted, undone work as "in progress" or "under investigation" is humping the stat monkey.

After that move we're balls deep in the stat monkey.

by Erock April 15, 2004

double-jointed-monkey-crawl

the crawl (often seen in horror movies) when someone (usually a dead person) crawls freakishly usually putting their feet in front of their head in the process (thus double-jointed). If you have seen the grudge, the grudge boy does the double-jointed-monkey-crawl down the stairs.

A:"Samara double-jointed-monkey-crawled up the well!"
B:"Freaky"

by xxxmakennaxxx January 5, 2009

Punch the monkey's head in

To stroke one's penis vigorously, particularly the head; to masturbate; to jack off; to flog one's self; to "take care of business"; to wank

Little Johnny was about to punch the monkey's head in when his mum walked into his room unannounced causing much embarrassment for both parties

by Retrovertigo April 26, 2010

Ape shit banana cuckoo monkey

When someone goes absolutely nuts for something.

Max went ape shit banana cuckoo monkey for some pizza rolls.

by Cordum March 29, 2020

Return To Monke

A meme where a man/girl says "REJECT HUMANITY , RETURN TO MONKE" *Turns into monke *After that they Make monkey noises like "OOO OOO AAA AAA OOO AAA OOO AAA AAA" And so on, After some Minutes Or seconds they stop and keep doing their thing. This meme will never die.

Guy: REJECT HUMANITY, RETURN TO MONKE
Guy: *Turns into monke*
Guy: OOO OOO AAA AAA OOO OOO AAA OOO OOO OOO OOO AAA OOooo ooo....

by Ea sports sucks December 30, 2021

monkaLaugh

A BTTV emote that you use when you hear something that gives you PTSD.

XQC: We'll play Rust again tomorrow!
Chat: monkaLaugh 👍

by monkaLaugh February 3, 2021

refresh monkey

Someone who visits a regularly updated website and uses their browser's refresh capability frequently in an effort to view the updated content as soon as possible after it is posted. This especially applies to sites where the updated content includes a feature such as a message board where fans of the site try to get bragging rights by making the first post (aka fipo or fpotd).

You generally have to wade through several "first post" attempts from refresh monkeys before you get to the first real discussion.

by mwalimu March 20, 2008