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Self Defense 

The skills you need to master and use to protect yourself from home invasion, robbery, or other personal attack by greasy haired Pachucos, Crips, Bloods, and other criminals.
If you want protect yourself from attacks by Pachucos and other criminals, you have to learn self defense.
Liberals call Self Defense "taking the law into your own hands." They do not want people to defend themselves against criminals.
Self Defense by Cap'n Bullmoose October 26, 2008
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Hardy Defense 

The Hardy defense is an argumentative tactic, analogous to the "Chewbacca Defense" (made famous by the late Johnie Cochran, in a South Park episode). The Chewbacca Defense itself, is a satirical term for any legal strategy that seeks to overwhelm its audience with nonsensical arguments and thus confuse them into failing to take account of the opposing arguments and, ultimately, to reject them.

It is thus, a kind of logical fallacy, specifically a red herring fallacy, and non sequitur similar to argumentum ad nauseam. The Hardy defense not only supercedes the Chewbacca defense in every regard, it is also not limited to the legal arena. Any argument, from the most profound, to the most mundane, will fall prey to the Hardy Defense.

The origin of the Hardy defense is the cesspool that is #efnet.org where I had made a comment about what is probably the most notable real-life ugly duckling story. I had made what I thought was a fairly innocent comment of, "Kurt Nilsen is cool." Little did I know, that I was about to face the most awe-inspiring and dramatic chownage known to any IRCer.

(For those that are unfamiliar with Kurt Nilsen, he was the most unlikely winner of the Norweigan idol competition, and even MORE unlikely winner of the World Idol title. He was voted as such almost unanimously at that. To say the least, it is by far one of the best underdog stories I've ever witnessed personally.)

I was then posed with a question by Hardy, "Why is he cool?" Before I was even given a chance to qualify my statement, I was faced with the barrage of verbal carnage that we have now come to know as The Hardy Defense. "I have admin flags in 3 EFnet regions, does that make me cool?" (*Note: The quotes aren't direct quotes, and have been paraphrased for effect. Please contact me for actual logs of the conversation.)

I was completely and utterly dumbfounded. My fingers experienced momentary atrophe and my fingertips even went cold. It was a few moments before I regained my composure to where I responded, with a noteworthy performance of my own, but we will save that for another day, and another /alias. Till then we must be shocked and awed with the immortalized Hardy Defense.
--- piggy @ EFnet
Any situation which requires a cheap and meaningless retort can be answered with The Hardy Defense
Eg:
'Why the fuck won't Firefox install?'
'Because Hardy has an admin flag in 3 regions'
Hardy Defense by Avleen January 15, 2006

chewbacca defense 

A straw man argument featured on the popular series South Park.
My client was found with blood all over his clothes and a gun in his hand, but because Kelogg's the breakfast of champions, you must find him not guilty.
chewbacca defense by Exitium March 29, 2005

Defense Force

A term used by people who are too stupid to form any other arguement agaisnt the fans of a product.
"Here comes the Defense Force to protect their product, they are mega virgins!!1!111!1!11111!!!!!!!!1!1
Defense Force by Densest May 25, 2018

defective thomas 

an very clueless thomas which doesnt know what hes doing
"hey defective thomas! What are you doing?! Im eating the wall"
defective thomas by mamathomas November 30, 2021

Deneasive 

The vibe a person gives that makes others
feel irked around
Why you being so deneasive
Deneasive by malik-ken June 21, 2022

Ultimate Defense Mode 

When a dog flips over on its back for no apparent reason and flails randomly. It happens.
Don't mess with my dog too much or he will go into Ultimate Defense Mode.