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crack myself up

to laugh hysterically at your own jokes, whether or not anyone else laughs at them.
And then the eagle says, "That's not MY nest!"...sigh. I crack myself up.
crack myself up by Jordija March 25, 2004

Crack Phone 

Another phone used by drug dealers, to avoid the phone tapping by the government on their primary cell phone.
Yo hit me up on my Crack Phone if you want that chronic!
Crack Phone by ryandoe11 April 21, 2011

crack down 

1. to enforce the laws or rules more vigorously

2. to make punishments for a crime or violation more severe

3. an instance of sense 1 of 2
The crack down on drug abuse means that fewer addictions will occur.

Crack Crew 

Nautical term for "best of the best" and/or most experienced; opposite of "green crew" meaning new or not experienced
He soon proved one of the best seamen of a "crack crew," and was ultimately promoted for his exemplary conduct.
Crack Crew by Pr0x1 January 8, 2010

crack her 

To have sex with a chick, to essentially crack her open.
First guy: Yo dude, did you see jessica last night? She was looking hot as fuck. I wanna crack her.
Second guy: Yeah man, she went home with me last night and I cracked her.
crack her by ŻOOT November 5, 2017

Crack open a cold one 

1. To open a cold beer
2. To crack open a cold coffin and fuck the corpse inside
1. It's been such a stressful day I can't wait to get home and crack open a cold one
2. I'm so fuckin horny right now I would even crack open a cold one
Crack open a cold one by (****()) August 23, 2022