The alpha-male species of the chav is commonly seen hanging around almost any street corner or outside Mc Donald’s at night on a week day. They are easily identifiable, they wear baseball caps or hoods, “sports label” tracksuit trousers with socks tucked in to them, as an identification of rank (the higher the socks, the higher the Chavvy status), they ‘trend knock-off trainers’ and can typically be seen in mock Burberry clothing. Their combat experience to accompany their rank can be distinguished by the amount of battle honours (or ASBO's) gained.
The female of the species, or Chavette, can usually be identified pushing a pram around shopping centers or pubs smoking, drinking (commonly ‘XXXX’ or ‘special brew extra strength’) and swearing at the infant, or Chavlette. The ‘Croydon Facelift’
(where the hair is tied back into a bun so tightly that it stretches the skin on their face backwards) is common among the females as is cheap, imitation gold jewelry (or ‘bling’). The females status can usually be accurately judged by the sheer enormity of it’s hoped gold earrings.
The common Chav holds it’s own dialect, known as ‘Chavish’. Scientists have worked to try and understand this strange dialect for years but to no avail, however they were able to establish that Chav’s have very small brains and an exceptionally low IQ and common sense. The only bits of chavish you may be able to understand are the frequent and graphic swearing that the chav learns from it’s chavette mother at an early age.
Their recreational hobbies include ‘Maxing it up’ in their cheap and nasty old bangers (commonly the Nova and Fiesta, although a high ranking chav may drive a golden chariot (known commonly as a Saxo). They spend a fortune on large wheels and rims or alloys, LED colored lights (the reason for this is still unknown) and the most common accessory of all – the ‘wanker pipe’. This being a large exhaust or exhaust tip fitted to the exhaust system of the car which seems to simply ruin the sound of the engine. It is still however unbeknown to experts exactly what is the source of all this wealth. However it may be due to their frequent sponsorship deals with ‘Max Power Magazine’ proudly displaying their half-arsed efforts at automotive design.
The female of the species, or Chavette, can usually be identified pushing a pram around shopping centers or pubs smoking, drinking (commonly ‘XXXX’ or ‘special brew extra strength’) and swearing at the infant, or Chavlette. The ‘Croydon Facelift’
(where the hair is tied back into a bun so tightly that it stretches the skin on their face backwards) is common among the females as is cheap, imitation gold jewelry (or ‘bling’). The females status can usually be accurately judged by the sheer enormity of it’s hoped gold earrings.
The common Chav holds it’s own dialect, known as ‘Chavish’. Scientists have worked to try and understand this strange dialect for years but to no avail, however they were able to establish that Chav’s have very small brains and an exceptionally low IQ and common sense. The only bits of chavish you may be able to understand are the frequent and graphic swearing that the chav learns from it’s chavette mother at an early age.
Their recreational hobbies include ‘Maxing it up’ in their cheap and nasty old bangers (commonly the Nova and Fiesta, although a high ranking chav may drive a golden chariot (known commonly as a Saxo). They spend a fortune on large wheels and rims or alloys, LED colored lights (the reason for this is still unknown) and the most common accessory of all – the ‘wanker pipe’. This being a large exhaust or exhaust tip fitted to the exhaust system of the car which seems to simply ruin the sound of the engine. It is still however unbeknown to experts exactly what is the source of all this wealth. However it may be due to their frequent sponsorship deals with ‘Max Power Magazine’ proudly displaying their half-arsed efforts at automotive design.
1. "Look at those scum-bag chavs"
2. "What the hell is that stupid chav shouting at us?"
"I don't know, he's shouting in chavish".
"F*ckin Freaks".
2. "What the hell is that stupid chav shouting at us?"
"I don't know, he's shouting in chavish".
"F*ckin Freaks".
by Matt Ako December 11, 2007
ewww, the most disgusting thing you could ever become.
Chavs are scum, they pick on people who don't follow their trend of:
girls -
+ tracksuit.
+ fake gold necklaces, earrings and other jewellry.
+ fake brand name clothing.
+ low cut tops (shows way too much).
+ 5 inches of make-up at least. (underneath it all they are ugly)
Boys -
+ tracksuit
+ fake brand names
+ wears chunky bracelets
Facts about chavs:
- They are usually found near a bus stop, or on a park.
- McDonalds is their palace.
- Usually thick as a plank.
- Spits every 5 seconds.
- Never a virgin past the age of 13.
- Chavettes refer to their friends as 'slags' or 'bitches' but will never tell eachother to their faces, or they'll deny if asked.
- Usually rasist.
- Chavs like the chavettes because they are whores and are easy.
- Always fighing.
- Drinking cider or some other cheap version of booze on friday nights.
- Smokes.
- Listens to 'MC music' a squeakier version of the crazy frog.
- Say their tough and hard, but when you want to fight back it's all "I'm gonna get my cousin"
- Nobody likes them, but they have to stay friends with them because they'll get their inter-bredded family to beat you up.
In all chavs probably the most hated thing in britain.
***save the UK, kill a chav***
Chavs are scum, they pick on people who don't follow their trend of:
girls -
+ tracksuit.
+ fake gold necklaces, earrings and other jewellry.
+ fake brand name clothing.
+ low cut tops (shows way too much).
+ 5 inches of make-up at least. (underneath it all they are ugly)
Boys -
+ tracksuit
+ fake brand names
+ wears chunky bracelets
Facts about chavs:
- They are usually found near a bus stop, or on a park.
- McDonalds is their palace.
- Usually thick as a plank.
- Spits every 5 seconds.
- Never a virgin past the age of 13.
- Chavettes refer to their friends as 'slags' or 'bitches' but will never tell eachother to their faces, or they'll deny if asked.
- Usually rasist.
- Chavs like the chavettes because they are whores and are easy.
- Always fighing.
- Drinking cider or some other cheap version of booze on friday nights.
- Smokes.
- Listens to 'MC music' a squeakier version of the crazy frog.
- Say their tough and hard, but when you want to fight back it's all "I'm gonna get my cousin"
- Nobody likes them, but they have to stay friends with them because they'll get their inter-bredded family to beat you up.
In all chavs probably the most hated thing in britain.
***save the UK, kill a chav***
Typical chav conversation:
<chav1> init
<chav2> ya startin'?
<chav1> init
<chav2> ya startin'?
<chav1> init
<chav2> ya startin'?
<chav1> init
<chav2> ya startin'?
<chav1> init
<chav2> ya startin'
<chav1> init
<chav2> ya startin'?
<chav1> init
<chav2> ya startin'?
<chav1> init
<chav2> ya startin'?
<chav1> init
<chav2> ya startin'?
<chav1> init
<chav2> ya startin'
by xanti - chavx May 11, 2007
hoodied, happy slapping granny muggers who wear lacoste shoes, chains, and trackies and will stab you at any point.
sworn enemies-
*emo
*skaters
*old ladies
favourite makes-
*lacoste
*nike
*adidas
weapons of choice-
*knives
*lead pipes
celebrity chavs-
*wayne rooney
*lady sovereign
*jade goody
*lilly allen
*britney spears
places of hangout-
*mcdonalds
*allyways
*street corners
sworn enemies-
*emo
*skaters
*old ladies
favourite makes-
*lacoste
*nike
*adidas
weapons of choice-
*knives
*lead pipes
celebrity chavs-
*wayne rooney
*lady sovereign
*jade goody
*lilly allen
*britney spears
places of hangout-
*mcdonalds
*allyways
*street corners
chav- oi you filthy fuckin skater!
skater- yah dude?
chav- fuckin stop skatin in fronta me mate, youre shit
skater- u just dissed me but then called me mate you idiot
chav- (pulls out knife)yeah say that to ma face bitch
skater- ok, YOURE AN IDIOT
chav- ya mums an idiot and she was good in bed too
skater- my mum has more self-pride than to sleep with you.
chav- ya mum has more self pride than to sleep with ya mum
skater- that dosent make sense.
chav- fuck you u grebo
skater- im a skater.
chav- fuck you grebo!!!
skater- yah dude?
chav- fuckin stop skatin in fronta me mate, youre shit
skater- u just dissed me but then called me mate you idiot
chav- (pulls out knife)yeah say that to ma face bitch
skater- ok, YOURE AN IDIOT
chav- ya mums an idiot and she was good in bed too
skater- my mum has more self-pride than to sleep with you.
chav- ya mum has more self pride than to sleep with ya mum
skater- that dosent make sense.
chav- fuck you u grebo
skater- im a skater.
chav- fuck you grebo!!!
by jack.d March 26, 2007
chavs are people who wear trackies and named clothes,and the girls wear big fake gold earings they all have an attitude problem and need to have a good punch round their faces
omg i fuking hate them cause there not like me cause i think im so good wwhen really im a bag of sh**
by holly March 03, 2005
A british teenager, a rat brain, an obsession with crap cars, some terrible slang, the hotheadedness of a gladiator with none of the physical capabilites (like at all), and fifty yards of yellow plaid fabric all thrown in God*'s Blender.
*Note: there is no God.
*written by a proud Emo.
*Note: there is no God.
*written by a proud Emo.
A group of chav teens sit on a wall in a park. A four year old girl walks by.
Chav 1: "Oi! You! this is our turf 'ere in da park!"
Little girl: "uhmmm...."
Chav 2:She's talkin' back! Le'ss get 'er!
Other chavs: Fuckin' 'ey!
Reporter: in our local news, a group of teenagers was beaten to death by a small girl near Picadilly Circus. There were no survivors.
Chav 1: "Oi! You! this is our turf 'ere in da park!"
Little girl: "uhmmm...."
Chav 2:She's talkin' back! Le'ss get 'er!
Other chavs: Fuckin' 'ey!
Reporter: in our local news, a group of teenagers was beaten to death by a small girl near Picadilly Circus. There were no survivors.
by ArrogantAngel April 16, 2009
Those Chavs think they're hard, but little that they know is that the force of a haymaker at their face from anyone would not only be beyond smashed that even their wonky, shitty teeth be swallowed, but also their low chav brand brain (which cost 1p in most known store) would be splattered inside their head.
by Shin-fucking-Ryu February 04, 2005
Chavs are the Burberry-obsessed, sports-gear wearing, poor spelling teenage - middle-aged scum of the nation.
Chavs cannot, and will not be seen with less than 3 kilos of cheap, plastic jewellery, probably bought or stolen from Argos, Index, some other catalog company, or the 20 pence vending machines designed for five year olds.
Chavs like hurling insults at anything that moves, and pick fights with anyone and anything. Anyone not wearing some Chav brand is automatically "Gawrth" (which, translates to 'Goth').
Chavs usually like smoking cigarettes or weed, and drinking vodka or cider. They hang around by "Maccy D'zzz" (McDonalds), or "Beee xXx Kaii" (Burger King). They usually go to cinemas or shopping centres on weekends, or school holidays. At the cinemas, they must watch a sequel to a film, while texting a friend or throwing popcorn at people.
Chavs usually think it's cool to spend money on crappy, fake items. One chav said, and I quote: "yeh well all u stoopid emos fink chavs r cheep, i js spent 40 quid on a burbery cap soo stfu". (This cap, was fake.)
Chavs enjoy grafitti-ing too. Usually in bathroom stalls, scribbles of "Jess wuz yer 2kaii6" or "Lulu 2k7" can be found all over Britain.
Hmm... what else to say? You get the idea.
Chavs cannot, and will not be seen with less than 3 kilos of cheap, plastic jewellery, probably bought or stolen from Argos, Index, some other catalog company, or the 20 pence vending machines designed for five year olds.
Chavs like hurling insults at anything that moves, and pick fights with anyone and anything. Anyone not wearing some Chav brand is automatically "Gawrth" (which, translates to 'Goth').
Chavs usually like smoking cigarettes or weed, and drinking vodka or cider. They hang around by "Maccy D'zzz" (McDonalds), or "Beee xXx Kaii" (Burger King). They usually go to cinemas or shopping centres on weekends, or school holidays. At the cinemas, they must watch a sequel to a film, while texting a friend or throwing popcorn at people.
Chavs usually think it's cool to spend money on crappy, fake items. One chav said, and I quote: "yeh well all u stoopid emos fink chavs r cheep, i js spent 40 quid on a burbery cap soo stfu". (This cap, was fake.)
Chavs enjoy grafitti-ing too. Usually in bathroom stalls, scribbles of "Jess wuz yer 2kaii6" or "Lulu 2k7" can be found all over Britain.
Hmm... what else to say? You get the idea.
"yh wel chavs lyke roolz, dun tey? "
^. A typical chav's vocabulary.
"Errr ghey mingarrr!!"
^. A typical chav's favourite insult.
^. A typical chav's vocabulary.
"Errr ghey mingarrr!!"
^. A typical chav's favourite insult.
by OurLadyOfSorrows_x April 04, 2007