left-handed

to steal. when paying at the counter of a store use your right hand to do all the movement and keep the other goods you want to steal down by your side with your left hand. If they ask about it simply say "OH, i forgot i was hold it!"

I payed for this gum, but i left-handed the juice.

by analjam September 28, 2006

ass handed

1) someone who shoots shit from their hand


2) someone that sits on their hands

3) When someone challenges a far superior force and loses without a single high point. The superior force will act as if it is business as usual, and will not gloat about their victory.

The fucktard in the corvette got his ass handed to him by a mini-cooper when he dared drive his yank tank on tighter european roads.

by Gumba Gumba March 16, 2004

Left handed

Someone who is left handed is the devil's child. If you know anyone who is left handed, call the police to perform a ritual on them.

*At the basketball gym*
Some random guy: yo why are you so good with your left hand?
Me: Oh I'm left handed.
Them: NO GET AWAY

by follow me @AMerryHalloween November 10, 2019

Jazz Handed

the delicate art of stuffing ones thumbs in a ladys arse, and spreading the fingers out in a joyfull circular bliss around her buttocks, whilst in the act of doggy style.....

Nick: Is lisa allright? She seems to be walking a bit funny today......

Joe: she got jazz handed last night

Nick: MOMMY BOYYYY!!!!

by playfulgorilla May 13, 2009

Red handed

When a young Mexican boy reaches the bottom of his most recent bag of Hot Cheetos and the spicy Cheeto powder coats his little brown digits.

"Jose Luis don't touch the babies while you are red handed, mijo!"

by greathips July 27, 2018

two handed dismount

The act of pushing your partner out an open window upon dismounting. This is generally reserved for those situations when you want to make sure she doesn't call you back. Throwing her her clothes is optional. This move requires that you are in doggy style position prior to dismount. Not recommended if you live in an apartment building, or are on the 2nd floor of a home while performing.

This term can also simply be used to describe a situation where you banged a girl you brought home and then avoided her until she went away.

I was at the bar the other night and brought home a really skanky broad. I had to make sure I got rid of her, so I gave her the two handed dismount. I felt kinda bad, so I threw her her clothes.

by Big red machine March 25, 2007

caught-cum-handed

derived from the latinish phrase-word thing caught-red-handed. its when you know your dad isn't home and you hear whoreish, moaning noises from your parents bedroom and you walk in and you see your friend fucking your mother in her vagina and then at his climax pulls it out and sprays his cum all over your mothers face and other body parts such as her hands. he then will take his penis and stick it in your mothers mouth causing his wiener cheese to spray all over your mother. best when done with people named Susan. also known as friend-cum-in-your-mothers handididation.

Fuck were caught-cum-handed. Damn it Matt i was just about to jizz on your mom's face.

by Nigth Tigers March 28, 2008