assisted living

A place to live where you don't have to do anything. You can nurses and stuff change your bed, do your laundry, and even cool your meals. You can eat free food without paying $50 for groceries and you can have a party every day. This is a place generally for old people, but it will be a great place for a college dormitory.

Old people: Yeah I get to play Bingo every day at the assisted living
College guy: Sweet, I don't have to do anything... these hot nurses can wipe my ass for me.

by Lil Duff June 4, 2008

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assist-a-bate

masturbation with the help of a friend

Hey, I need some help, can you assist-a-bate me?

by Richardgayfaggotfruit April 12, 2008

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Assistication

When you're at a restaurant and you order a main course meal only to find that the size of the dish is too big for you to finish, you ask a friend to assisticate you.

A conjunction of the word "assist" and "mastication".

They finish off the meal you paid thirty bucks for so you don't waste your money.

Rebecca: "This burger is the size of my head. Paige, will you assisticate me?"
Paige: "This is too much assistication to ask for."

by pastrychefsniper January 27, 2010

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Assessment test

A bullshit pre-employment test on a job application where you have to constantly answer "strongly agree" or "strongly disagree" to become a potential employee.

Sarah's application included an assessment test with 60 questions asking how would she react in work related situations.

by dawnmusic December 20, 2016

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